Politically High-Tech
A podcast with facts and opinions on different topics like politics, policy, technology especially AI, spirituality and development! For this podcast, development simply means tip, product and/or etc. can benefit humanity. This show aims to show political viewpoints and sometimes praises/criticizes them. He is a wildcard sometimes. For Technology episodes, this show focuses on products (mostly AI) with pros, cons and sometimes give a hint of future update. For Development episodes, the podcast focuses on tips to improve as a human spiritually, socially, emotionally and more. All political, AI lovers and haters, and all religions are welcome! This is an adult show. Minors should not be listening to this podcast! This podcast proudly discriminates bad characters and nothing else.
Politically High-Tech
258- Harnessing Creativity for Mental Health: A Journey with Thomas Brown
What if embracing creativity could be a pathway to healing? Join us as we connect with Thomas Brown, an artist, author, and mental health advocate who opens up about his journey following the tragic suicide of his brother. Thomas shares how his transformative cross-country bike ride in 2012 became the subject of his book, "2012, a Bicycle Odyssey," and demonstrates how art and physical activity can be powerful tools for coping with grief. We delve into the role of community and the therapeutic power of creativity, emphasizing the importance of supporting those in crisis and sharing the life-saving 988 hotline as a resource.
Ever wondered why our minds tend to fixate on negativity, or how we can break free from societal expectations? Together with Thomas, we explore the intricate relationship between self-awareness and negative thoughts, influenced by biological, chemical, and societal factors. Our conversation challenges conventional norms, urging listeners to embark on a journey of self-discovery by understanding their body's signals and questioning societal labels. We underscore the philosophical idea that existence should not be constrained by societal structures, advocating for the freedom to truly understand our identities.
Does expressing vulnerability signify weakness, or is it an essential step towards mental well-being? Discover the importance of facing emotions head-on as we tackle the pressing issue of suicide, highlighting unsettling statistics and the impact of societal expectations. With a focus on redefining strength, we encourage men to embrace emotional vulnerability and promote therapy as crucial maintenance for mental health. Through personal growth and self-awareness, we highlight the necessity of diverse coping mechanisms and invite you to explore additional resources and stories at RisePhoenix.org.
Follow Thomas Brown ...
His Website
http://www.risephoenix.org/
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/risephoenix2012/
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/_rise_philosophy/
TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@rise_phx?_t=8nr9tf3EF8I&_r=1
If you want to be on my podcast, join PodMatch by clicking on the link provided below https://www.joinpodmatch.com/politically-high-tech.
Follow your host at
YouTube and Rumble for video content
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUxk1oJBVw-IAZTqChH70ag
https://rumble.com/c/c-4236474
Facebook to receive updates
https://www.facebook.com/EliasEllusion/
Twitter (yes, I refuse to call it X)
https://x.com/politicallyht
Welcome everyone to Politically High Tech with your host, elias. I'm going to tell you what not to expect. Politics you're not going to hear a lot of AI, okay. So if you're here for that, you're not going to hear a lot of AI, okay. So if you're here for that, well, make your own e-door and kick your own ass and get out, because it's not going to be any of that. Okay, it's going to be something more on the realm of mental health, why you deal with suicide and all that.
Speaker 1:If you're emotionally childish and I'm referring to you adults I don't want kids in this podcast. Also, I'm gonna have to curse out the parents for their incompetence, as, oh, you corrupt my kid. No, it's your incompetence that corrupt the kid. It's not my fault, okay, but anyways, before I start yelling at you, just for fun of it, because I enjoy doing it, I'm a little sick like that sometimes. Now I'm gonna get straight into it. So we're gonna talk about mental health and how you deal with suicide, okay, and if it drifts off a little bit, it goes a little off topic, it's okay. It's part of the charm of this podcast, whether you love it or not.
Speaker 1:If you you want to complain, there is a comment section for you. Just know it's like exposed therapy. You're putting your grievances out there, okay, and you might be criticized. Okay, I'm not going to say it's a judgment-free zone, especially among the trolls. Okay, so you've been warned. Alright, enough of my poorly crafted monologue. I love to just rant and just yell at you sometimes because I do enjoy it. I actually do. Yes, you could expose your host and even clip and say Eli is a bad person because he enjoys yelling at people. I own that statement. Thank you, give me some cheap five second fame. Thank you, make me viral if anything. I almost beg you to do that.
Speaker 1:But anyways, I have a guest here who is burning up, dying, even if I could say something I got a lot of code here. I want the heat. He's in a much more hot heated area. I thrive in the heat. Even when I was in Nevada, I enjoyed the heat. I didn't even struggle for hours like most of the people. I was with Bunch of wimps and I said well, this is the secret of the tan privilege. I call it the nice balance. You look good and you're adorable for the sun. I'm not going to get into that. We're going to talk about many things with Thomas Brown here and before I get started because I can ramble on, so I'm going to shut up, I'm going to introduce myself. So, thomas, what do you want the audience and listeners to know about you before I go on?
Speaker 2:First of all, I just want to say thank you, elias. I appreciate the opportunity to share this morning at least morning for me here in Arizona with you and your audience. I would like to also state that if anybody is in a state of crisis mental crisis, or they know somebody that is it's a national hotline. You can either call or text 988. So put that in your phone, keep it there in case you or somebody that you love is in need of some professional help.
Speaker 2:My name is Thomas Brown. I'm an artist, an author, and I dabble in some podcasts from time to time. I'm also a mental health advocate. I lost my brother to suicide in 2001, august 20th 2001. I'm also here to kind of like talk about just mental health, how we can show up for people that are struggling, some of the things that we can do for ourselves, and also talk about a cross-country bike ride that I did in 2012. I chronicled it in my book, my first book, 2012, a Bicycle Odyssey a 7,000-mile bicycle journey for Awareness and the Healing Power of Art. I'm a big fan of just the creative process. I think even what you're doing with this podcast is if you were a type of individual that would say that you're in the process of of creation uh, just as a host for this podcast and and allowing a space for people to share their, their stories, their opinions and their journeys here on starship earth. So that's me in a nutshell at starship earth.
Speaker 1:If you're gonna yell geek and nerd, go right ahead. Like I said, express your stupidity in the comment section. That's what it's there for. They might be pummeled by other people. Just you just been warned. Okay, I love you trolls maybe, but anyways, let me get to the real thing at hand, and I have fun if you use the artist, because I saw a lot of artistic work in the rise on website while I checked this. Okay, this guy must have a strong artist background and I would call myself out, especially if I first did this podcast. Oh no, I'm not creating crap, but I accept the fact that I'm also partially creative. You know, I love my systems, I love my data, but I'm also pretty creative. I realize I'm actually kind of both. I joke between these two things. One of the things I finally embraced that, like a few years ago. Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one of the things that we we talked to people when we, when Zach and I my, uh, my cycling partner, when we were talking to other people on the road, people like us that have lost loved ones, of suicide, and we would bring this idea of creativity, uh, one element of it was that, like creativity and in art, bring people together, whether we're aware of it or not. Um, I would even say sports is a form of of art. There's a lot of uh, control, bodily control, that athletes have to, um, you know, they take years and years and there's nothing different from that from from dance or a type of uh, uh, kind of like a martial arts, like a tai chi um. So I would say, even like sports is like that, uh, but like music brings us together. Films bring us. Like music brings us together. Films bring us together, tv brings us together. It's things that we talk about, things that we connect on.
Speaker 2:But for the people that don't feel like they have any creativity, uh, inside themselves, I would, we would just use the metaphor of life. Um, you know that, like, your life is a blank canvas and the choices that you make and you know, depending on whatever obstacles are in front of you, like that is your palette, and every single movement, every single choice that you make, every single direction you decide to go is a brushstroke on that canvas that tells the story of your life. So, at the very least, like your life is your own piece of art.
Speaker 1:Well said, beautifully said. You want to challenge that? I don't know. It's like picking on you trolls today. Oh no, I don't make anything.
Speaker 2:The thing about my personal philosophy is that it's my personal philosophy, it's the way in which I navigate this world and it doesn't really bother me whether people agree with it or not, because they should find what their personal philosophy is and and their way of navigating, uh, their experience here, with the small time that they do have, uh, walking on this planet, because at the nub of it and we'll get into it. But I really feel like the problem that we face with the epidemic of mental health and again, this is my own personal philosophy and I use it to guide myself through life but it's the fact that we have a profound lacking of self-awareness, a profound lacking of awareness in general, and it's because we've never really been taught to cultivate that within ourselves.
Speaker 1:It's actually true. I mean, life is a blank canvas. Well, sadly, I'm just going to agree because I'm lazy and I'll fly coming with another philosophy.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:But the trolls. You'll be active for me. You come up with my philosophy. Yes, I think of nothing, I got nothing in my brain, so just go ahead and come up with a philosophy. For your host Say that's your little activity right now. That'd be nothing is a good, but anyways, well, I got something, but let these trolls figure it out. Keep the bit to tape for a little bit. So let me just start with this very general question. This is a probably very cheesy question, but what inspired you to do this? You could have been mopey, you could have been depressed. You could just say fuck life, fuck everything. What inspired you to do all this? Because you didn't have to do this.
Speaker 2:I mean being mopey and depressed and saying, fuck, it is kind of part of the uh, the journey of grief. You know, uh, some of the things that I've learned through my experience on a bike ride. You know I wasn't. If you would have asked me this question before I did the bike ride, I don't think I could have articulated it During the bike ride. I found the words to be able to answer that question. And you know, the universe is is made of, made up of experiences, and majority of the experiences aren't observed by sentient life, um, but here on. So like, experience itself isn't really like a good or bad thing, it just is. But when you put a sentient life that has a ego, we need to process, like this thing that just happened to us and we're good, we're going to like, say, like man that was good and I really enjoyed that, or we're going to be like man that really fucked me up, um, I think it's important to process our emotions, no matter what experience we have. But we're going to get and obviously you know the negative experiences seem to linger a little bit longer than the moments of joy. If you can explain why to me, I'm our leaders, but for some type of trauma of loss, whether it's your job, whether it's a friendship. It could be a physical movement. You lose the ability to walk or to just do things in which you used to be able to. It could be a loved one. It could be a pet whatever to be able to. It could be a loved one um, it could be a pet whatever.
Speaker 2:That once you've processed your feelings, or at least allowed yourself to like have them, that you will get to a point where you have to make, you have to ask that question why, why the fuck? You're gonna ask the question why a lot? But you're gonna get to a point where you're really ready to answer that question why a lot? But you're going to get to a point where you're really ready to answer that question why? And you may not find like definitive answers, but you will come to this choice that comes with why, and it's either I'm going to choose to be a victim of this or I'm going to choose to be a student of this. And if I'm going to choose to be a student of this, then it's incumbent upon me to learn how I dealt with the situation, how I deal with the situation, how I could learn and grow from the situation, not ignore it, not say that that happened or whatever, but like, how do I make myself, how do I be a better person today than I was yesterday, despite this thing happening to me?
Speaker 2:And I will admit that to find yourself in that state of mind where you make the choice is an extreme position of privilege, because a lot of us are in fight or flight, um, and it's it's you you can't really be able to to look at a situation outside of your emotions and just make the choice of do I want to be victim or student? If you're constantly um fight, you know like needing to flee or fight something? Um, so it is a state of privilege. But for me, I've always, I've always hated bullies. I've always, I've always wanted to stick up for, for the little guy.
Speaker 2:Um, and I always like, had like like some kind of mission or purpose in my life, whether it was in film school and making art and creating things or going on an adventure. And I had met my friend, zach, who went on this journey with me in 2010., and he was the first person that I met outside of my family that had lost someone to suicide. I had my family, I had my brother's friends, like they were all part of my experience and I was part, and we were all part of my brother Mark's experience, of his, of his him taking his life. So I but I never met anybody else who had that same experience. Um, so, just having my community grow by one was, uh, it just felt amazing, especially like Zach lost his brother. So we had a similar relationship that we had lost and there was just like this unknown, unspoken, uh connection that we had. You didn't have to, like, say anything to know what the other person was going through or why, so it was just it was awesome to have that.
Speaker 2:And, um, I had been in therapy for a few years and, uh, I just I knew that there was something that I wanted to do. I wanted to learn more about, um, of suicide. I wanted to learn more about what people, people experiences were like. How were they treated by law enforcement, how were they treated by their community? What tools did they learn to help them navigate the grief and the pain? And so I was finally ready to have that conversation and I had gone on a little adventure.
Speaker 2:Back in 2006, I I walked with a group of people from Phoenix to Washington DC, and it was my first.
Speaker 2:It was like also a film project that I was part of, so it was kind of like um film school on the road, and I just had this bug ever since then of wanting to like do something but not do it for somebody else's mission, do it for my mission.
Speaker 2:And once I met Zach, I knew what that mission was, and it was to like learn as much as I could about other people's experience with losing a loved one to suicide. So that's, I just knew that there was something that Zach and I needed to do, and it just took a couple of months before we figured out what that thing was, and so we decided to ride our bicycles from San francisco uh, the golden gate bridge, north of the golden gate bridge to a art retreat center in upstate new york in wappingers falls, called the chapel of sacred mirrors, and, being boneheaded as much as I am, uh, we didn't do a straight line but, like, if you can, you know you can travel further on a bicycle than you can by foot, and so my logic was well, let's just stay out there longer, where the walk that I did was only 2,500 miles and it lasted five months. This bike ride was a combined 7,000 miles. We didn't excuse me, we didn't do a straight line, we did a giant W and it took us seven months to complete.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I A W for win. There you go. Oh no, well you. It was a long but actually captivating answer. It's definitely interesting, yeah, especially with victim versus student, always just victim mentality, or become a victor, as I was normally phrased. And why humans cling to negativity? Well, I can answer that. I can actually pretty easily answer that because humans are naturally attracted to negativity. I'm gonna be honest it. It takes more effort to be happy and positive and sustain that.
Speaker 1:It's definitely a chemical, yeah based scientific studies it's definitely a chemical thing yeah, yeah, and since you know, just like you said we had, we lack self-awareness, we lack the tools, and that's why they linger much longer too. So those, are you ready kind of even answer that question? Um, so you know those? Those are just the only things I could think of right on top of my head, because I used to be a very depressed person, so I got some idea what that is so I got. I got an idea what that is.
Speaker 2:It's hard. Like you know I, there's really like only two paths that are afforded to us in our, in our experience here. You know it's self-aware before I even get in. That self-awareness is like any other skill set some people can be born with a great sense of self, other people have to cultivate it. And for those of us that have to cultivate it, you know there's only really two paths that allow us to go on this journey of self-reflection and self-discovery intentionally, like we're all kind of like doing it but like we're not aware of it. So there's still a a disconnect from that, that journey, but like to intentionally go on a journey of self-discovery. That the two paths that are afforded to us is one I need a humanities credit for my, for my degree, and so you like find yourself in a, in a mythology class or or a philosophy class and you know, hopefully by the end of the semester your mind is blown. The other path is through grief and trauma experience and you know you finally realize, sometimes sooner than others for people, that you need some kind of like external help. So you seek out therapy, or maybe you find yourself in yoga classes and you just go on this journey, slowly to learn about yourself in the process, because you're trying to heal yourself. And when you you go on a journey, they're like heal yourself. You, if you're doing it right, you're going to dig into past experiences and how they affected you. Uh, they could be from benign or seemingly benign, uh, family dynamics to extreme experiences of physical, mental or emotional trauma. And you know, we, we don't, we just don't, our system isn't structured in a way that allows you know that, where any institutions intentionally facilitate the cultivation of awareness and self-awareness in its citizens, I really think that it would be beneficial if we had a class started in kindergarten, um, and every single year we have, we, we just you know, go up a level. But it's all about like understanding yourself, um, it's all about like learning.
Speaker 2:There's two sides to like self-awareness. One is understanding your body, um, and you can understand your body through breath, through the practice of like breath meditation, and because your body's going to tell you when you're stressed out before your, your brain will, your brain is is designed to kind of like keep you safe. So it might, like you know, bullshit you and keep you, you know, away from like this, like experience that you're having, but your body's going to let you know if it doesn't like a certain situation. It just does so like doing, like getting used to your body and learning how to understand it and recognize the tells of stress, before your brain, before your mind does. And then the other side of awareness is, uh, learning your character like.
Speaker 2:Who am I outside of my meat suit? Who am I outside of the family I was born in? Who am I outside of the country I was born in? Who am I outside of the religion in which I was raised? Who am I outside of the religion in which I was raised? Who am I outside of the political system? Who am I outside of my sexuality? Understanding who you are on a fundamental level is one of the.
Speaker 2:It's our only job. Here on this planet we live when I say Starship, earth, we live on an organic spaceship that is in the perfect spot, distance from its self-sustaining atomic explosion, while we are hurtling through the vastness of the void and we've all been conned into believing that we have to pay, we have to go to jobs and pay money to exist, when it's part of the natural order of the cosmos. You know what I mean that, like none of us made the decision to come here. Yet we have been told that we have to pay to exist. We have to pay to be. Somebody has to pay for us to be born. Somebody has to pay for us to exist until we learn how to pay to, to learn how to pay for our own existence, and then somebody has to pay for us when we die. Like it's a long con that has existed for thousands of years and we all just go about it as if that's just like the natural order of things. It's not. Don't bullshit yourself.
Speaker 2:Some people might think that's a political statement. I think it's a human statement. I think it's a logical statement. I think it's a human, a human statement. Um, I think it's a logical statement. Um, so it's just we. I think that we learning like your body and then learning your character are two very important, are the two important pillars of self-awareness. If you don't know who you are, someone will tell you who you should be, and it's a lot easier to be led astray if you don't have a great sense of self and foundation of who you're supposed to be. So to me, self-awareness is the only game in town. It's our only true job to figure out what, who we are, what we are about are, about what we want in this life, from life, and to do it in a way without being influenced, without being conditioned by the systems of control that exist all around us. And yeah, it just takes time For me.
Speaker 2:I laugh my way through a lot of things. I think laughter is medicine. I have my regular day job. I work in a library, and when my supervisors or the administration make decisions, I try to understand it first from their point of view. But my first reaction is usually this is ridiculous, but I'm not going to be mad at it. I just have to kind of like laugh it away.
Speaker 2:I give myself a little giggle, give myself a little shot of that, of uh, that the good chemistry in my brain, uh, to try to like keep me going, um, and that, even that, even that even goes with like trauma, um, I make jokes about my own pain all the time, not to deflect the pain.
Speaker 2:I think I can make those jokes because I've faced it head on, I've, I've, um, I live with it every day and I I embrace it every single day and it's taken a lot of work of self-reflection to get there, but to me, like self-awareness. It's the one and only game in town. Uh, pay attention, because you can be masterful at alienating people and just have everybody hate you and nobody want to interact with you. But until you die, you're still stuck with one person and that's you. So get to know that person, get to know the difference between the different characters that exist in your own mind. We all have a golem, you know. It's important, through you know, a practice of self-awareness, to understand who is the I when I say I and who is the thought in the head that it's observing the voice in the head saying I.
Speaker 1:You know who's the golem and who are you wow, you said a lot of actually good stuff, because we do get to know, we need to know ourselves. That's when we hang out with all the time, even when you're drunk, you're not aware of it, even you know you're. You're like I have to go that extreme. This is a point. Yeah, you know you're like I have to go that extreme. This is a point. Yeah, you're with you. Yeah, yourself, you know I'm sure you love your mommy, your wife, your husband, your father, whatever they're not going to be around all the time. So, yeah, you hang out with you. So it's that's you know. So some people just may seem crazy, but this is actually a very sensible thing. You have to get to know you. You're hanging out with you, rather you love it or not, and you better learn how to love it. It's so I think. That's all I'm gonna say.
Speaker 2:I think, the reason. I totally agree with you. Some people might think that this is like soft headed nonsense, but it's the most simple and obvious thing. It's so simple and so obvious that it's like and I'll admit that, come on, I'm not the first person to come up with this concept of like understanding self, you know. I'm just telling you how, how it works for me. It took me. There's a lot of like, you know, teachers Most of them are dead and things that I like philosophical perspectives that I read in books, and then like going through therapy and then like a lot of time spent by myself, I feel like, hmm, why am I what? Why did I have that intrusive thought? And feel like learning that it's okay not to take ownership of that thought. Sometimes that thought is just meant to show people around you at work just how fucked up and disturbing you are in your sense of what you think is funny and just hope to God they don't call HR.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah, those lovely people. There's so much I could say about that. I could go on a long rant about how I think overly sensitive phony they are and I do say it for a lot of them very sensitive, very phony. They act self-righteous, they act nice, they're behind closed doors and I even got some of them some evidence that they have backstab and do a complete 180. So, oh hi, how you doing, thomas, by the time that door closed? Oh, you hear this fucking guy, thomas. You hear the crazy shit he's saying yeah, that's, it's a little exaggerated, but but you get the point.
Speaker 2:People, they smile.
Speaker 1:They look at you the months I go close doors. They transform, yeah.
Speaker 2:There's a difference between, though like, between sensitivity and phoniness, because I think, like, a journey of self-discovery will make you a little bit more sensitive, because you have to be. In order to like, really be responsive to an emotion or to an experience, you have to be sensitive to the fact that it exists. You know what I mean? It's like a spider, like spider-man is is the peter tingle. That is a form of sensitivity, you know. Being able to sense something, um, is a form of sensitivity, uh, whether it's in yourself or reading the room.
Speaker 1:It shows an openness to external forces and internal oh yeah, just to clarify what I mean by sensitivity is just like that emotional oh my God, not that instinctual kind of sensitivity. No, I agree with you. That kind of sensitivity is essential. Let's just be clear of. Sensitivity is essential, let's just be clear. It's essential, especially if you could pick up unknown verbal cues that person's not telling you verbally but you could tell by their body language or how the crowd is looking at you. Yeah, those are more. I'm talking about songs. As you say hi, just because you feel a little tired. Hi, why are you like that? I'm told it's always just, I don't know. You say hi just because you feel a little tired. Hi, oh, why are you like that? I'm told that kind of sensitivity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's the reactionary kind of sensitivity.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just call that being butthurt. You know, you know what I mean. True, I try to like, because so many words have different meanings and you know it's, it's important to, especially in our world now, where you know we attribute, we change meanings of of words to to fit our, uh, our political agenda. I try to at least use that in a way that like, hey, when I say sensitive, this is what I mean when I mean that you're being like emotionally, like offended, I'll just say that you're being butthurt. Maybe you have a right to be butthurt, I don't know, that's true, I got to adopt that.
Speaker 1:Some people do, I'm convinced some people do, but I'm not gonna get into that. This my simple reaction to all you that love to be butthurt with all due love and respect, fuck you. That's it. Next, I'm gonna wrap that part up, that part. I'm a radical and I really don't care. Uh, that's that's. That's a you problem. You need to figure that out. Get, get, get help seriously. That's what. I'm a radical and I really don't care. That's a you problem. You need to figure that out. Get help seriously. That's all I'm going to say. Yeah, you know, let's talk about the suicide facts, because some of it was actually quite amazing to me. Some of them, I mean, this was just stuff that I was just looking up on, and I'm not surprised that males, in a sense, are more likely to complete suicide, but I didn't even know that. Females attempted more, but they failed more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it also is the methodology.
Speaker 2:That's methodology. Most men might have more access to firearms, where women may use different means to do to a firearm, you know, like it's pretty hard to miss. It happens and people you know, you know, pull the trigger and it doesn't end their life, but that's probably. I think that most of the deaths with men, uh, do come with, like, firearms. There's more men that are using firearms than women, where women might be using pills, um, I think that's where it is. So, uh, yeah, more women do do attempt, but, but more men come to, you know, are more successful is a horrible word, but that's pretty much it. So, like in 2021, the last data was that 48,000 class citizens died by suicide. That's 132 people, 132 Americans a day, 132 people, 132 americans a day, um, an estimated 1.7 million attempts in 2021 alone. It's, it's, it's and and it's it's only getting it's all, it's only getting worse. But you know, and and I have a, I have, and I have an empathy and understanding Life can be rough, life can be hard.
Speaker 2:I think another thing with men is that we're raised to believe that we shouldn't share our emotions. So we do, we do, we share joy and we share anger, and what we don't realize is that one. Not only are those emotions, but there's so many other emotions on the spectrum for us to um express, and it's not a sign of weakness um, it's, it's. It's not a sign of weakness, it's not a sign of that's one of the things that's always frustrated me. To me, it's more of a weakness to be like no, I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about that. What's the difference in not talking about something that's painful and saying well, I don't want to walk down that dark alley at night. You know what I mean. If you're with a bunch of guys, oh, just go right down there, don't be a pussy, just go right down there, nothing's going to happen to you. Well, there's no difference in that dark alley. That's just a physical manifestation of mystery. The emotions that you don't want to talk about is an internal manifestation of the mystery. You don't want to go there because you're afraid it's going to bring something out of you that you don't want to face. And you're going to call somebody else who's willing to face that dragon, a pussy, a weakling, a coward Like nah, you got it twisted, that's some doublespe. It twisted, that's some Double speak. That's some Orwellian Double speak. And it's not Our fault as men. We have been Again. We've been bullshitted and conned.
Speaker 2:There's a difference in pulling Up your bootstraps and like getting shit done. I understand when you have something that you have To do, if you have responsibilities that you have to handle, yes. But like you, one of your responsibilities is also handling and learning your emotional content, because if you don't, it's going to manifest itself some other way. It's going to manifest itself in your heart exploding when you're 50 or 60 years old. It's going to manifest in the way that you treat other people. Um. So yeah, deal with it. Deal with your emotions not by burying them. That's not dealing with your emotions. That's burying them. Um, deal with your emotions by facing them, by finding a safe space, like, hey, you don't want to go out and just like cry.
Speaker 2:I know some people that that like they can't help it, they're just going to cry. I used to be one of those people. For some reason, I think I've cried all of my tears because even when I want to cry, I can't get a cry out. It's like all dried up. I mean, it's Arizona, it's the desert. Usually the only time it happens if I is if I'm watching like a really like a like emotional scene in a movie and I get like like goosebumps and it can be something as like ridiculous, as like little rings. It doesn't have to be like a little drama, but like I think it's important for us to be able to like understand those emotions and and have a relationship with those emotions and allow us a time and a space to emote those emotions and have at least, um, if you're lucky enough to have somebody that cares about you whether it's like a romantic relationship or just a homie, um, you know, that is willing to allow you to emote those feelings, that like there's a time and space to be able to do it. Uh, I, I like therapy, I do therapy. That might be one of the reasons why I don't cry as much, because I'm I have the ability to just like talk it out and and and um, and I have space to to express those and people that like my poo-poo therapy.
Speaker 2:It's like if you have a car, you take it in every once in a while to get the oil changed and to get like a tune-up right. Why wouldn't you do that with the machine that's working between your ears, man, like you're going to take your car in, but you're not going to get your emotional machine lubed and re-oiled every once in a while. It's good for you. There's nothing bad about it. It's not a sign of weakness, you know, step up to the plate.
Speaker 2:Show me how brave you are. Tell me your fears. Tell me the things that scare the living shit out of you. Tell me, tell me the things that you're afraid to face. That's courage, that's a form of bravery. It's not the only form of bravery, but it is a form of bravery.
Speaker 2:And, uh, I invite everybody to step up to the plate. You know, if you think that I'm just like some, you know soft, uh, you know bleeding heart type of person, that's, that's totally your prerogative. But, um, I challenge those people to tell me they're the darkest thing that ever happened to to them and to share how they, how it really made them feel, because I would stand here without judgment and just be like, yeah, that's fucked up. What do you want to do about it now? You're going to let it poison you and all the other people around you, or you're going to be able to learn from it and grow. Become a stronger person, become a better person, become a more compassionate person, a more empathetic person. Be better for your community around you. Be better for your circle of influence.
Speaker 1:Well said, I'm not going to argue. But if you idiots want to argue against it, you go right ahead, because what you're saying is true. Okay, I welcome idiocy, I don't mind it. You entertain me. That's how I see you. This is I welcome idiocy, I don't mind it, you entertain me. That's how I see you. This is free entertainment. Give it to me. I'm a cheap person. I hate paying for it. But if you face there's attack, that whole money narrative they give me free entertainment to the internet.
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:But no, you said a lot of things. They actually and this is a journey I've been personally going through and I said in my podcast multiple times about one of my darkest moments is when my father died and I almost perfected the suicide plan and I perfected the suicide. No one realized it, no one realized I was going to do it. I made sure I kept all my emotional things in check, at least the facade of it, of course. In the inside I was all messed up, but I made sure the facade looked perfect. I was like, okay, as long as I look perfect, I was okay, I don't care if these people, I don't want these people to capture the truth and all that. Because, of course, I thought that, oh no, emotions are for sissies. Ah, real men, cut off anything that kind of thing. It still kind of lingers to some extent.
Speaker 2:But I almost perfected it I was one step away from. Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, but it was. I almost did it through one step because I was at the top of the building. I stopped by one step Then for me it was like a divine intervention. You're worth it. Are you sure you want to just end your life like that? You don't know what's going to happen next. It's a good thing I didn't follow through, because life didn't end up being better and I learned how to be okay dealing with these emotions.
Speaker 1:They're just, you know, burying it, trying to reject it, fight off, because emotion is kind of like a back. It is kind of like a sticky. Well, it's not even like a sticky, it's like a super magnet. You try to push it away, but you already got the opposites Face each other. It's going to key up and it comes right back. Boom, boom, keep pushing away. I got the negative, the other one's the positive. It keeps coming back. You put it away as far as you can, it'll come right back to you. It's like a super magnet. So that's why I had to deal with that.
Speaker 1:I deal with that when I was saying, yeah, when it's super emotional back there, yeah, you can't. Yeah, you can try to do that all you want, but you're really hurting yourself and people die younger. You know, to your point, I mean guys, especially for guys here. Women actually get this for the most, I have to say, especially for the guys. I hope you're really getting this message. This is mostly for you, all right. That's why I had a funny feels good gear towards all men.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm definitely not it, it is for you Do you like emulsions? I'm definitely probably more of an anti-Tate Philosophy when it comes to emotions and feelings. I mean, dudes are passionate, man, we're passionate. You don't believe we're passionate. Go to a sports bar on sunday afternoon. Uh, when the jets or the giants are losing.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean and and show me a person who isn't well, some dude that isn't expressing some passion. You know? Uh, it's there, don't kid yourself. There's a gift that you, that you provide to yourself by by creating space and time to be able to express it. You know what I mean. You don't mind crying when, when your sports team loses, hey lenz. So don't sit here and tell me like women are more emotional, bit please now.
Speaker 1:Well, we both got them, both genders got it. Rather, you want to look, you want to be delusional, just say, oh, I don't got emotion, you do that. You drive yourself to a cliff. Well, you do it metaphorically driving yourself to a cliff, totally, totally. And then you go blow up and then you're gonna die, just like that. I'm gonna keep it as uncensored and yes, I'm a little psychotic. I say die with a smile yep, you're going to go and you're going to die. Flip that all you want. Call me a psychotic, I don't care. You give me clips. You actually gave me more people I could help. So do that, do that please. And if people leave, I'm crazy, that's fine. I already, I already told myself I'm crazy, but suicide fact was most surprising to you. That's my final question.
Speaker 2:I don't say that this is a fact. It's not a statistic fact, but it's a trend that I've seen happen within the community of of lost survivors. You have lost survivors are the people who have lost a loved one to to suicide. And there I just feel like there's a unrealistic um, I want to say this as best as I can there's like this unrealistic destination of ending suicide that creates. It's just too much of an illusion to be like to throw out that promise that like, oh, if we do, we're going to end suicide. We're going to, we're going to end it once and for all.
Speaker 2:And I don't even think people have a clear understanding of why people find themselves in emotional disarray to begin with. Um, I, I and I think a lot of that has to do with self-awareness. Like, if anybody's trying to sell you a 10-step plan, run the fuck away. That's their plan, that worked for them. When I'm talking about promoting self-awareness, I'm promoting the perspective and idea that you find your way to figure yourself out. You find your way to figure yourself out and to understand why you feel the way that you feel. You do the things that you do. You believe the things that you believe. That's your journey. You write your own playbook, but you have to participate, you have to be present, and so I just think that there's unrealistic like goal that organizations want to accomplish and it sets people up for failure.
Speaker 2:Um, it's this fast sense of of uh, of uh safety for people that are that are struggling, or and it's just I think it's important that we first have a real understanding of why people are in distress Right now. Suicide prevention, suicide awareness organizations are fire chasers, we're firefighters looking for fires to put out, rather than creating safeguards that prevent fires from even starting. So that was the one thing that that uh, you know, riding my bike across the country and just uh becoming like an advocate for mental health that I've noticed over the last, you know, 10 to 15 years is uh unrealistic goals and uh a lack of understanding of what the problem even is. Um, then it's, it's, it's, it's, it's greater.
Speaker 1:I think I'm going to add one more. Yeah go for it. I think I'll add one more. So just systemic. You just touched on it a little bit 10 step, 12 step systemic solutions. You know which is? I think it's crap. I do agree with you. I saw like the alcoholic anonymous. It's been proven statistically time and time again that they're very ineffective. They're not effective, yeah, I mean it? Helps certain people, but it's not really effective. Yeah, because you're still that is.
Speaker 2:That's. That's step by step, and I don't want to poo-poo it for anybody that it does work for. Um, it's managing the problem rather than getting to the root of the problem, and our society in general is kind of like an emergency room, and all an emergency room is is managing the problem rather than feeling preventative measures. And I don't have the answers. There are smarter people than me that can come up with it. I am just inviting people to start a journey of understanding who they are, why they do the things that they do, why they believe the things that they believe. Can they grow beyond those beliefs? Do those beliefs fit their true nature of who they are? And if it doesn't, do you have the will, the patience, the self-compassion to make the changes that you need to make to be a better person, not only for yourself but for the people around you? Um and uh, you know that journey itself is long, arduous, and it only ends when we leave this planet yep, it's a, it's a continual process.
Speaker 1:It's not a 12 step. Oh, you hit the 12 step. Yay, it's magically gone. No lies, that's a lie and I can say that confidently Because I tried it a little bit. I said this thing's not going to work.
Speaker 1:But I do agree that and I've said this again in my podcast, especially in all the development episodes, especially I'm talking with spiritual people. Your journey is unique. A true spiritualist, a true whatever, even faith group, true, whatever, even faith group I don't call it religious because I think religion has such a nasty taste in my mouth that word they will understand that you are a unique individual If they just think okay, you go to church on Sundays, you know Holy World, all that. I'm not against that, don't get me wrong. Wrong, I did talk about more god. I think more god is needed. Definitely more communities needed to look what's going on.
Speaker 1:I think this is why suicide is getting worse, because of lack of awareness, community purpose I think they're the big causes in opinion. That's driving a lot of this, you know, and I think it would be good if we could find at least some ideas. Let's just say let's at least get that under control as a starting point. Yeah, that's all I'm going to say about that. I know it's heavy for some of you, so you may tune in because, oh, this is an emotional, wussy episode. He ain't crying. Oh, what are you talking about? Oh, this is too emotional. No, we have to deal. This is for adults. If children are listening, like I said, I blame you, and I will happily blame you again because I tell you I don't want kids listening to this. Yeah, go right ahead.
Speaker 2:I was just saying it may be heavy, but it's necessary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, exactly, it is necessary. That's why I continue to do this. Trust me, if I want the show just to be all about my ego, I will not have him on Fuck Thomas. I said, ah, nah, nah, nah, fuck Thomas, I want some of the police to mind you. Come here, this person, this person, this person All right, let's entertain them. I want to entertain these people, all right, and I just want to maintain this front. No, you got to be adults. Let's learn how to deal with emotions in the most real, unique, organic way possible, and I think he's already inviting at least some of that, and he even acknowledges that, which is a good thing. That's one thing I acknowledge as well.
Speaker 1:For a person to calm down, maybe walk to a park is good, I don't know. Maybe a video game is good for another person, or, I don't know, read a book. You know. There's more than one ways to solve that problem, you know. But people are different. People have different ways of doing things. Or go to a gym, break a couple of punching bags, or, I don't know, you go to a mountain or shout Something, something.
Speaker 2:And good pieces of advice.
Speaker 1:These are all good pieces of advice. Yeah, I know somebody that one time Went to the dollar store of advice. Go on, these are all good pieces of advice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I know somebody that one time went to the dial store, bought a bunch of plates glass plates and then stood on a ladder and just threw the glass into the dumpster, one at a time. I mean, she knows that she looked like a crazy person, but she felt really good when she did that.
Speaker 1:To each his own. Listen. That works for her. Wonderful, even though she looks crazy the optics, you know. Sometimes you got to do certain things. That seems odd or mentally ill, but it's actually helpful. Just because it looks mentally ill doesn't mean it is. And, trust me, I know what real mentally ill is. I know what versus mentally ill is. I know what versus BS is mental illness. Some of them tend to do that, especially if you want that extra check from the government. Yes, I'm calling you out. I'm going to sound like a right winger there, but some of you do that crap. Anything else you want to add before I wrap up this heavy but necessary conversation?
Speaker 2:You know, if anybody is interested in learning more about my story and reading my book, you can go to RisePhoenixorg. There's a link for the book and you can learn a little bit more about me. Learn a little bit more about me Again, if you're struggling or you know somebody that's struggling, call or text 988. It's the National Crisis Hotline. So there are resources out there that can help you or at least get you started.
Speaker 1:And get that book. Give me some support, all right, appreciate it, get that book, that bike I'm going to call it, since I forgot. No, let me cheat, let me cheat.
Speaker 1:It's 2012, a bicycle odyssey, it's 2012,. A bike odyssey? Yep. So I was going to say some biking odyssey, whatever, okay. So I was a little close mentally, yeah, just get that book as well. All right. Mentally, yeah, just get that book as well. All right, give us some support.
Speaker 1:And it's a different way to tackle mental health and all that. And I will personally say it's crazy. But hey, I'm not, I'm not the one dealing the problem that way. Okay, people got different ways of handling it.
Speaker 1:If a vice, if a bike journey like that helps you, join it it, why not Be with a group of people? It solves a community issue, a self-issue. Being open, you know, open up your emotions. It tackles all that at least at once. And, of course, it's a gradual process. I don't expect, you know, like Disney, magical stuff, okay, the magic wand is all gone. No, it's a continual process until you're dead, and that's just the way it is. So if I burst your bubble, I'm happy. Good, I hope I burst more bubbles, your delusional bubbles, because it needs to be burst.
Speaker 1:You've been lied to. I've been lied to, amy's been lied to. Okay, how we deal with emotions is why we all look cuckoo and crazy. Alright, but hey, it's a journey, been lied to. Okay, how we deal with emotions is why we all look cocoon crazy, all right. But hey, it's a journey and look, it's gonna be different. But I'm telling you just general pieces of advice and you may even come with something crazy that's gonna help you. I don't know, maybe you throwing uh, well, you said throwing plates go to a adult playground. There's an adult playground. Okay, be like a child. I don't know, you do whatever. You figure you out. Okay, you gotta learn about you, and then you come up with your own solutions. Okay, just to tie it up, nice. So, yeah, join that. And even got a podcast as well. Shame, you didn't mention that. Yeah, yeah, it's Inner Monologue.
Speaker 2:If you look up the, if you want to listen to some of the podcasts, it's the channel that I have it on, because I have two different shows, but I keep them on the same channel.
Speaker 2:Just go to look up Rise Frequency on either Apple Spotify, stitcher, and the two different shows will be distinguished by title and uh logo. Um, in a monologue I have like over 300 long format conversation, uh conversational interviews with uh other people individuals that lost loved ones of suicide, therapists, artists, um therapists, artists, people that are spiritualists so it's a wide variety of individuals and, again, over 300 episodes. The other show is more of it's called Stages. It's more of an audio diary that I started doing six months after I lost my mom to cancer. So it's just kind of like me sitting there and uh, sometimes it's really sad, sometimes it's ridiculous, sometimes I might have a point to what I'm saying, but they're like 15 to 20 minute, like little rant sessions where I just sit down in this room in front of the micro microphone and just kind of like talk about what I'm dealing with or some of my observations of the world around me hey, there's many ways to express yourself.
Speaker 1:That helps you be open with your message. Go right ahead. All power to you there. Before, if I would have started a podcast, if you would have told me that, I would have said you're crazy, why you want to document your suffering to everybody. You know how cruel the internet world is. That would have been my old thinking. But I respect you more. I respect you. I have a complete 180 change on that one. I respect you a lot. I respect people a lot more. So that's what I'm going to say oh Eli, oh Eli versus a new one. A new one is a lot more understanding and gets it. You all would have said oh damn, tom, that's such a stupid idea. What the fuck are you doing? You want the trolls to attack you? You just gave them perfect ammunition, alright, you gave them bombs, grenades, holy Hail Marys just to destroy you. Good job, good fucking job, bud. The new me is like I get it.
Speaker 2:The trolls ain't gonna say anything that I haven't already told myself, and nine out of ten times I'm way craftier about talking shit to myself than any troll could even imagine to be, so you know.
Speaker 1:So I know I'm gonna tackle the trolls a lot for probably, probably for a sick reason. All right, so in the comment section challenge accepted he come with a crafty way that we could talk us. I agree with him. I talked a hell of a shit about myself. I mean stuff that I'm I'm even shocked and impressed myself with yeah, I'm just like I said stuff about me that I'm not gonna even I'm not gonna share.
Speaker 1:You're gonna have to figure it out. Yes, I'm an asshole like that. Yeah, I talk deep shit about myself, so I get it. I totally get it.
Speaker 1:Entertain me with your shit talking please yeah so, but seriously, if you've gained value of this message, I really hope you did. I hope you enjoyed a little craziness on it. I didn't plan some of it, it just happened. Did I allow it because I think it's natural and pretty authentic. A little wacky, I don't care, I'm a wacky person. I embrace that label openly and even in public, like Times Square. Times Square is a lot of people. You, I embrace that label openly and even in public, like Times Square. Times Square has a lot of people. You can embrace that in a crowded area like that. You can embrace that almost anywhere, and there's a lot of wackos there too. So you got to be kind of wacky on that regard. All righty, then. So From wherever you listen to this podcast or deal with this audio onslaught, you have a blessed day, afternoon or night. We'll see you next time.
