288- The Tandem Journey: Finding Adventure Beyond Your Box with Teri M Brown

Terry M Brown shares how her 3,102-mile journey across America on a tandem bicycle transformed her life and taught her powerful lessons about resilience, presence, and embracing challenges. From escaping an abusive relationship to finding new purpose as an author, her story demonstrates how stepping outside your comfort zone can reveal strengths you never knew you had.

• Riding from Oregon to Washington DC on a tandem bicycle with her husband
• Overcoming physical and emotional challenges throughout the journey
• Learning to "never quit on a bad day" after pushing through difficult conditions
• Finding the courage to "do hard things" even when faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges
• Accepting that life's journey is rarely a straight line but rather a "tandem journey" filled with unexpected turns
• Struggling with and learning to appreciate the importance of staying present
• Discovering that success doesn't come from becoming someone else but from uncovering strengths already within
• Applying these life lessons beyond the bicycle journey to other challenges like grief and personal growth
• Converting the experience into "10 Little Rules for a Blissful-Butted Adventure" with guided journaling questions
• Finding healing and purpose through adventure after escaping a 14-year abusive relationship

If there's something big and bold you've been wanting to do, start taking steps toward it today. Don't keep your dreams on a bucket list—turn them into action plans and begin moving in that direction, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Follow Teri M. Brown at

Her website

https://www.terimbrown.com/

Her Promoted Book

https://www.terimbrown.com/10-little-rules-dba.html

YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaQ6p-EOSGd1tEeWijQSl9A

Twitter

https://www.facebook.com/TeriMBrownAuthor

Pinterest

https://www.pinterest.com/terimbrownauthor/

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/terimbrown_author

Linkedin

https://www.linkedin.com/in/TeriMBrown/

TikTok

https://www.tiktok.com/@terimbrown_author

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Introduction
• 6:44 Meeting Terry M Brown: Author and Adventurer
• 14:05 The Epic Tandem Journey Across America
• 32:26 Rule #9: Never Quit on a Bad Day
• 45:22 Rule #6: Do Hard Things
• 59:46 Rule #2: When Chaos Comes
• 1:07:33 The Challenge of Living in the Present

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

welcome everyone to politically high tech with your host, elias. I have a guest here and you know I'm just gonna say this sometimes, just sometimes, we just go back, go back, go back, breathe, instead of going with the trend. Trend, the cloud, the clicks just keep moving and moving and moving. Just find some time to be a bit silent. If you don't, well, I got a solution for you here, a very good one, that will reflect I hope you reflect life, because a lot of us are just forgetting that. I'm first I. I want to talk to the youngins. It's like I'm your older brother, the Gen Zers.

Speaker 1: 0:50

Y'all just move too fast, to the point that you're just hitting a bunch of walls. You're looking more foolish because y'all don't slow down. Look, I get it. You got internet and all that. But take time to step back, take time, take time to be alone a little bit. That's scary for some of you. That silence is just gonna hit you hard because you're just so used to going. And for those of you who are paying attention to the audio, you're going, you're going this freaking fast without processing anything properly. You're only processing the best bits and pieces of every split second and then you've got a screwed up understanding. So I'm happy that I actually encountered this and we need to slow down and before I get into this book, because it is needed, let's introduce the guests.

Speaker 1: 1:48

She's ready, with smiling, waiting patiently. Not gonna go along with my monologues not my style unless I think it's too darn important. Yes, I'm using super pg language today, all right, you know, you know my vulgar. You go to yellow episodes if I'm vulgar, controversial, I got different modes, okay, this one's gonna be more pg, okay, or you know, if a little swear happens, so be it. I am pro free speech. I'm pro 1a. I don't want the democrat or republican flavor of it, because they both have messed up. They both are dishonest, okay, just to put it simple and plain. So let's introduce this guest here. She's been smiling and waiting patiently and I'm going to shut up and end this monologue quickly.

Speaker 1: 2:30

Let's welcome Terry M Brown. She has a lovely smile. She's just can't wait to spill her wisdom. It's not, it's not just for show. It's not just for show, as wisdom, as substance behind it. It's not just a show. It has wisdom, it has substance behind it. It's not a fake smile. I'm a little cringe For those of you who are viewing or getting intrigued how silly I look, those of you on audio. Just think of someone who's cringing and smiling. Just use that imagery for those who are just listening to the audio version. Okay, so let's welcome Terry M Brown. Let's just give an introduction. Since you're new, you could go long-winded about it. That's the privilege of the new guests. And what do you want the listeners and the viewers to know about you?

Speaker 2: 3:12

All right. Well, first of all, thank you, elias. I'm really excited to be here today, Super happy to have you Really excited that you read the book. I think that's amazing because a lot of times people don't take that time before they talk.

Speaker 2: 3:25

So about me I'm an author, I've written well, I've written a lot of different things. I started out maybe 12 years ago. 15 years ago I wrote some nonfiction stuff in the real estate space under a different name. I was married to someone else at the time, and so I've got those books that were out. And then I started writing fiction. And I've got those books that were out and then I started writing fiction and I've got three historical fiction books out this year. I also put out a children's picture book, and that's out.

Speaker 2: 3:53

Because I'm a grandma and my granddaughter said, gigi, when are you going to write a book for me? And of course I said now, right now, sweetheart. And so I got that out. But the book that really has my heart and soul right now is my 10 Little Rules for a Double-Butted Adventure, and that's my. I call it kind of like an inspirational memoir with some guided journaling, and this book it explains kind of a lot about who I am and how I got to be where I am now. But in addition to an author, I'm also a podcast host. So I have a podcast called Online for Authors, where I talk with other authors about their books. I well, I'm a cyclist, I play bridge, I love a good bargain, I'm a mom, I'm a grandma, I'm just, I love life. I absolutely love life, and so that's kind of where I am, that's who I am, that's a nice introduction.

Speaker 1: 4:49

You can extend that if you want. I mean, look, everyone loves a good deal of your savvy shopper. I don't care if you live in the city or in a rural area, I don't care if you have a green skin color or a purple skin color, everyone loves a good deal. You want to save the green, the money green, I'm talking about Absolutely. I'm wearing a green skin color or purple skin color, everyone loves a good deal. You want to save the green, the money green, I'm talking about absolutely I'm wearing a green shirt too interesting.

Speaker 1: 5:09

The green, the green theme is coming in and she has some green in her lovely flowery shirt as well. Green green, maybe symbolism, or maybe I'm just making things up. We'll see how it goes, because I don't orchestrate these conversations on the natural free floor. I love natural conversations. I don't, you know, I'm not telling my guests oh no, you gotta talk about this. You got five seconds to answer a complicated, open-ended question. No, that's ridiculous. And watch the mainstream media and go berserk.

Speaker 1: 5:35

Okay, the podcast is for if you want to dig deep, get into the deep right, absolutely stuff with substance, not just oh you know just some stupid clicks. So you say something crazy, outrageous and there you go, that's all your attention span focuses on. I mean, come on, this is just it. It's ridiculous, it's not. This is not the kind of form for it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy that stuff, just like you. But this podcast is, this is development here. This is the most happy, most laid back, least confrontational, least controversial for the most part, except if you want to dive into the spirits and all that.

Speaker 1: 6:11

I got some guests who will rock your mental world, but we're not going to get into that let's get into the simple lessons that are naturally and I love the one that's naturally inclusive, right, naturally inclusive. You don't have to be, you don't have to, you know, go with God or Buddha, all these other deities you believe in. That's fine, you believe in those, or you don't even have one. These lessons are very practical and very inclusive. I think the only discrimination is the other people just rejecting it because you don't want to learn. Oh, you created that discrimination. You did yes, if you feel attacked, good, because sometimes you are your own worst enemy. It's not always the other. It is not always the other. Before we get into that, what inspired you to write this book? You could have just said who cares about these people? I'll just keep all this good wisdom to myself.

Speaker 2: 7:20

We started in Astoria, oregon, and we rode to Washington DC. That's 3,102 miles, and I am not an athlete. This, in fact, when I met my husband. We met in 2018. And when we met, I had not been on a bicycle in 40 years, so this was not something that was like, hey, terry's just going to go out and do Terry, but I had been wanting to do something big and bold and adventurous.

Speaker 2: 7:45

I had been in an abusive relationship for 14 years. I had gotten out of that relationship, but I tell people that just because you get out of something like that doesn't mean that you are instantaneously well. Okay, I had a lot of healing that had to be done. There was a lot of parts of me that were a real mess and I had been thinking about. I had a friend that walked the Appalachian Trail right around the time I was getting out of that relationship and I kept thinking I want to do something like that. I want to do something big and bold. I wanted to prove to people that I still had value. Turns out, I needed to prove that to me. Nobody else doubted it. I doubted it, but I just felt I wanted to do something big.

Speaker 2: 8:25

Then I met Bruce and he said hey, I've always wanted to ride across the United States on a bicycle and I thought it would be an adventure. You know, that would fill that thing. And so I said to him is this something you're going to talk about until the day you die? Are you going to do it? He said, no, I really want to do it. And we were just dating and I had no intention of ever being married again. But I said count me in, I want to do this, let's do this. So we started practicing, doing little rides here, little rides there, and we ended up getting married, which is like a whole podcast all by itself. But anyway, he tells people that he chased me until I caught him, so if you can figure that out. And then we decided, okay, we're going to do this and we're going to do it on a tandem bicycle, because he's very athletic and I'm not, and being on a tandem equalizes us. He can't be faster than me and I can't be slower than him. It just makes it a really good fit.

Speaker 2: 9:16

So I wanted to keep a blog the whole way coming across, and partially because while we were preparing for this trip, I read a lot of blogs and they all seemed to be lying, like everybody talked about how easy and perfect and wonderful and all their days were beautiful, and I kept thinking there's just no way. There's no way that you do this kind of hard thing and you're not going to have some times where it doesn't feel good. So I wanted to be really honest. So I kept a blog the entire way across the United States and as I'm coming across the United States, I start realizing I'm beginning to heal, like a lot of the things that were bothering me, that I believed about myself, that I didn't think I was good enough or that I wasn't capable, or all of those things. Well, it's hard to say I'm not capable while riding across the United States on a tandem bicycle and as we finished up the ride, we were within half a mile of the Marine Corps Memorial, which we stopped at because my husband is a 25-year Marine and we were raising money for Toys for Tots, and so it seemed like the perfect place to stop. And we're coming up. I can see this flag and he says Terry, that's it. That's where we're stopping. And I started to laugh and cry at the same. Up, I can see this flag and he says Terry, that's it, that's where we're stopping. And I started to laugh and cry at the same time. I was just a mess and I thought, my gosh, I can do anything Like. It's not a matter of can I do something. It's a matter of what do I want to do? And I thought I want to be an author. And 14 months later, my first novel came out. My first novel came out, and I was so excited about that.

Speaker 2: 10:43

But when we finished up the ride, I'm now looking over that blog and I thought look at all of these lessons about life that I learned. And these are the kinds of things that you don't have to ride on a bicycle to use this knowledge. You just have to be trying to do something a little outside of your normal box. And I thought I don't want to keep all of this to myself. I learned some really valuable things and I want to write them down, and so that's why I decided to go ahead and put it out.

Speaker 2: 11:09

There was this is the kind of information that can help anybody who's looking to expand themselves, even just a little bit, and it could be something big, like riding across the United States on a tandem, or it can be something small, like I'd like to learn to play the piano, you know. It could be something like I'm ready to leave a really bad relationship. Or it could be something like I think I'd like to move to a new city, or I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life when my kids move and go off to college. You know all of those times where you kind of have to expand yourself. So I tell people that these are lessons. They're more lessons even than rules. They're things that I learned about life, that I have found that I can apply in other situations, not just riding across the United States.

Speaker 1: 11:55

Yeah, Even though that's an epic situation, let's not discount that. Very epic, I mean, shoot me, I always call myself semi-athletic. Epic, I mean, shoot me, it's. I always call myself semi-athletic. I'm strong but lazy as heck. But, um, that's, that's just me, but you could. But lessons, that she has all 10 of them. I'm gonna list them, we're gonna list what's the highlight, what's the, what's the least favorite, what's the most favorite? Okay, but there's 10 lessons all together. She's not ripping you off, that you know.

Speaker 1: 12:24

I read the book and it even has reflective questions and some poetry in there. Okay, so it's a multi-functional kind of book and the poems add a bit of a artistic abstract and a beautiful land. Normally I hate poetry, I find it dull, but this one, just, it just makes sense to me because I could connect it to something. Okay, he's a creep, he's a sim, he just wants to date her and get inside her. Okay, I'll just come with the most. If you leave my mind to be free, it will jump to sometimes the worst situation and it's all reflective of mood. If I'm in a good mood I'm gonna think the better. So, oh, he wants to have a family. He's a great guy, he got some style. He's all, he just wants to date hers again. You know, get inside her and that's it, okay. He's uh, you know, the cool kids call that a simp. Traditional people call that a creep luminizer.

Speaker 1: 13:21

Okay, trying to include all you generations in here, okay, so that's how I see poetry, but to me it's a nice touch. It could have been a bland book I struggle right to its end but she's a creative, okay. She didn't have to tell me that. The book told me that she's a creative okay, and you really should read this book. You know, it's not just a passive read that you just read and just store it in your brain or you forget about it. Let's be real, we forget a lot of the information we read. This one gets you working. This one gets you to think deep. So it's a pretty so lack of I'm not trying to be punny. It's an active book. It gets you to reflect on yourself mentally and, if I want to go a bit further, even spiritually.

Speaker 2: 14:07

Right. It has questions after each chapter, and so we call it guided journaling. And essentially I am an expert in me. I know what I need out of life, I know what I learned from this time that I spent on the bike. But my rules may not be what you need and they may not be the thing that you would learn from this. And so after each chapter, I kind of ask these questions that help you kind of go through your own mind like, well, how do I feel about this chapter? How can I apply it to me? Is there a rule that works better for me? Is there a way to expand on this rule? And I tell people, you know, maybe you don't need 10 rules, Maybe you only need eight, Maybe you need 14. And this book is to help you kind of guide yourself towards. What are those things that are going to make you lead a more adventurous life? Get outside of your box, be willing to experience and experiment.

Speaker 1: 15:03

You know what? She is much nicer than me. I would have forced those 10 lessons on you. You're gonna make it work. Okay, it's no, some of you people are so stubborn, all right. She said somebody may need eight. I was like what? No, it's a dumb, I'm I'm kidding. It's true, let me have learned these lessons. I mean, let me be honest, let me comment on that a little bit. Or you could come up with a unique lesson. Exactly, you're already age 14, maybe Age 14 more, I don't know. People are a little lazy than that, but hey she's very nice compared to me.

Speaker 2: 15:35

It could be that one of the rules that you see and you think, wow, that's really like two rules for me, like I see it this way and I see this, and so I want people to feel like this is more like conversation starters, like a way to think about life, and then what can you do with it? How can you apply it to you and your situation? Because the likelihood is that most people who are listening today are not going to get on a tandem bicycle and ride across the United States. It's very, very unlikely, but I can guarantee that every single person that listens at some point in their life are going to have to stretch outside of the box that they've put themselves in, and that these rules will help in those situations.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Yeah, and I love how you frame it, the normal box, because normal is different for many people. My normal is working on the computer, your normal is helping other people. What someone's normal could be, I don't know. Sniffing trees be connected to nature. Whatever it is right. I mean, that's america. You're not in some dictatorial country. You all gotta work and you better have the right opinion or else you are executed. So appreciate that. You know it's a little american. I'm throwing. I'm not going to be super political because we no, we're not doing that today.

Speaker 1: 16:49

X tribes, relax, this is just lessons you could apply. It's easier, nicer than me. Me, I would just say, nope, you're gonna learn these 10 lessons and if you already learned them, prove to me that you have learned them. You know I'll turn it to a little debate, but I'm not gonna do that. You're lucky I'm not the author of this book, I think.

Speaker 1: 17:07

I think I might get more hate than love. Who knows? Or you know, some people are the possibility. Oh, this is tough love. I needed this. Maybe some people need a more gentle approach.

Speaker 1: 17:17

I seriously say that solutions has to be kind of personable, as compatible with the person, right? So yeah, absolutely yep, so uh, look, I and you know what? Yeah, she's so nice and gracious, and you know me, I'm I'm not as nice as I. If you need to learn us, I, I would say it bluntly. I think you need to learn this. Your life is not going to be so nice and I've learned how to be a little calmer. Talk to me, if I was a teenager, young adult, I would be more vogue about it, as you are stupid, still so stupid, and sometimes I'll even laugh at you. To make it worse, insult to injury, something would just want to just either curse me out I don't blame you personally. I was in that situation, so I'm supposed to receive an end of that. So I get it. You just want to lunge and attack me, but I, I just learned that you know what Tough love is not always the best solution.

Speaker 1: 18:09

See, that's something I had to learn. You got to be adaptable for different people, some people with the more gentle approach, some people just want facts A, b and C. They want a faction I could structure like that. So this is not working. You did A, b happened equals C. Okay, this is why it did not work out, because your A, your anger, causes person B to be bad, and now you got C, c. For what Crap? You got a crap outcome. Okay, I blame her down being creative, blame Terry down being extra creative. Okay, that you could blame her. The A, b, c thing I just kind of came up with that, but seriously, I you know.

Speaker 1: 18:50

And the other thing I like about this book is that each of it could be like this own separate little chapter. I mean, you know, don't get me wrong it also has a whole cohesive story about the tandem journey as well. So it it's, it's very interesting. It could be decompartmentalized and compartmentalized at the same time. It's very interesting. It's very interesting. Most books are not like that.

Speaker 1: 19:12

You gotta read number one, number two, number three, you know, oh, but I want to read 10. 10 seems exciting, oh, no, no, you want to have a complete understanding. Gotta read the first nine chapters. This one here. You could read just five because it gravitates you. Or even 10, or who knows. Or you find reading one in the next day. You know it's, it's. It has a multiple pathway, which, which is very unique, most books don't have that. I'm not gonna say much content in there. Okay, I'm not a spoiler person. I respect the producer's work. I respect that. Maybe at worst it's just a little minus four, depending on what answer we give these next questions. The next one I have is this might be a challenging one for you. This is a positive ending one. Which one of these 10 lessons are your most favorite? So?

Speaker 2: 19:57

it is a little hard for me. I have two that are really really near and dear to me, and for two very different reasons, so I'm going to, if you're okay with it, I'll give you my two Go ahead.

Speaker 2: 20:09

All right. So one is rule number nine. It's called never quit on a bad day, and the reason I love rule number nine is this was a day that we were traveling and we had to go 70 miles. There was nothing between where we had spent the night before and where we were going to spend the night. So 70 miles and that's a long day on a tandem bicycle. It was a hot day, it was hilly, the wind was blowing toward us, which meant that we're like against the wind all day. We went through a valley where there were mosquitoes that were huge and I swear that they drank bug spray for breakfast. I mean they just they were landing all over us. It was horrible. And then we had not one, not two, but three flat tires that day.

Speaker 2: 20:54

So by the time we pulled into this town in Montana, glasgow, montana I was done, and I wasn't done for the day. I was done Like this is stupid. I hate it. Why are we doing this? This is miserable, and I was keeping the blog and I would put it out every day, and we had people who were reading it as I, you know like they were waiting for it. We wrote during the summer of 2020. So it was COVID summer, so there were people who were stuck at home and they're watching this, and this is what they do for their entertainment was read my blog, and so I wrote the blog and in the blog I said I think I'm done, we've talked about it before we ever came out that either one of us could say enough's enough, and I think I've had enough.

Speaker 2: 21:38

Very soon after posting that blog, I got a note from a friend who texted me and just said Terry, what you've done so far is amazing. You have ridden over a thousand miles, you've made it over the Rocky Mountains. If you stopped today, you have nothing to hang your head about because you've done an amazing thing. Most people will never do that. However, I recommend that you don't quit on a bad day, because if you do, you will always wonder could I have done it? So she said I recommend you take a little break, maybe take a couple of easy days. If you still feel that way, then by all means, upping is what you should do. Whatever you decide, you know I'm proud of you, and that was kind of the end of the text. So I took that to heart and the next day we had a fabulous day. Oh my gosh. We flew into the next town. The wind was behind us, blew us into town. By lunchtime we were already in a motel room and we slept all afternoon. We got plenty of sleep. It was, it was absolutely fabulous and we stuck with it and in the end we did make it all the way across.

Speaker 2: 22:47

The reason that that is such a good rule, that never quit on a bad day, is because think about it when you are tired, hungry, emotional, you can't make good decisions, right. So anything, anything could make you stop doing something. You know my shoes are too tight. The sun came up in the east again today. I mean, anything can make you just say I'm tired, I'm done. But when you've had a chance to kind of pull back and you can really think about, do I want to continue this, is it really something that I want to do, then you can make a real good decision. So I tell people, don't mistake this, for never quit, because sometimes stopping what you're doing is exactly what you should do.

Speaker 2: 23:29

I was in an abusive relationship for 14 years. I needed to get out of that right. Never quit would have been a horrible thing to tell me, right If you're in a job that you hate, you know to say never quit. Maybe you need to think about when you do it, maybe you need to be smart about doing it, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Or it could even be that you've chosen to do something that you thought was going to be fun and after a while you realize this really isn't what I thought it was going to be and this isn't serving me anymore. So I really learned this idea of never quit on a bad day. You know, give yourself space, pull back. My second favorite one and this is a sad story, Elias, so get ready. I don't know if you're going to need tissues. You might.

Speaker 2: 24:12

In June of 2022, my husband was diagnosed with glioblastoma, which is an incurable brain cancer, and he passed away in January, just a few months ago, which is really hard on me because he was my person. He died on January the 10th and on that I had been waiting for a copy of this book. I was waiting for my author copy and the author copy comes in and it has you know, not for resale stamped across the front. You get a chance to look through it. I had been waiting. I wanted him to see it. I wanted him to see it and that morning it was.

Speaker 2: 24:47

It was obvious that we were at the end and he passed away at 3.30 and at two o'clock the mail came and my book was in the mail and I started to shake. I was shaking, I could hardly get the box open. His eyes were closed. No-transcript to fight this cancer. And he did. He fought it until there was no way to win.

Speaker 2: 25:34

I also realized that, due to the cancer and where it was located in the last two months of his life he didn't have a voice. He could say yes and no. On occasion he was able to say I love you about a week and a half before he passed away, but generally he had no words and I feel like for me those were also his last words to me Do hard things, and so on. Those mornings between then and now, when I get up and I think I can't do today, I can't, I just I can't do today, I can't, I just I can't do today. I want to crawl under my bed. I just want to hide from the world. I hear those words do hard things and I take a deep breath and I throw my legs over the side of the bed and I do hard things. I get up and I do hard things, and so those are my two favorite roles.

Speaker 1: 26:17

Wow, one was. I mean they both were challenging for very different reasons. One was more the external factors of weather, terrain and probably wasn't even the best mood already. The filthy mosquitoes that probably sucked thousands of blood. I mean they must have got the best blood in the world if they were that huge. All right, blood with protein and steroids and I'm sure they came in the army is old, fresh, fresh blood. Sucking that, uh, sucking. Oh yeah, these fresh, fresh blood. Come, come, come, come. Come me. I don't know, I think I would have just caught a mental breakdown. I hope I don't have a firearm. I probably would have just shot everything and just freaking lose it it was.

Speaker 2: 27:03

It was a hard day. It was definitely a day where it would have been easy to say forget it, I'm done.

Speaker 1: 27:08

I'm just done yeah, I said, my goodness, I'm the stupidest person. Wow, what was I smoking for doing this? What was I thinking? Right, right, I love that. Don't quit on the bad day, because I think a lot of people tend to do that, which builds that regret, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 27:24

But you prevent it.

Speaker 1: 27:25

Could be that? What if that? What if that? What if?

Speaker 2: 27:30

What if we had just given it another day or two or three? What if? Right? And instead I didn't have to worry about that. My husband got to do this trip that he wanted to do. I got to do something that I wanted to do, this trip that he wanted to do. I got to do something that I wanted to do. We did it together and we don't have any regrets, because we did take kind of a step back and think about what do we really want? What are we trying to achieve here? And what we were trying to achieve mattered more than the fact that my fanny hurt from being on the seat for so long and then I was sick and tired of changing flat tires.

Speaker 1: 28:00

Yeah, I'll be the emotional. I'll be just focused on the emotional aspect. They feel bad. Okay, forget it. No, just I quit, I quit. But how are you going to build? I mean I was like an ultimate character trial for you, absolutely Physically, mentally, spiritually, all the above right there. You know, and you know that that's amazing. I mean I was like real intense character building. That's for sure, because I'm sure I won't be surprised. You don't want to ever do that again.

Speaker 2: 28:28

No, you know, and people have asked me well, would you do it again? And the answer is no, I don't need to do it twice. Right, like I am so glad I went. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. I am so glad I went and I do not need to do it twice.

Speaker 1: 28:42

Yeah no, I agree, and that's the impression I got, so I personally don't blame her. That's all I was saying. I was reading this book. I don't blame you. I mean, if you do a different journey, I understand, but it's not going to be that tandem no, there's no need by gries and right across america.

Speaker 1: 28:58

Who knows it could be? It could probably be a more I don't know touristy, probably something more fancier, less demanding, you know maybe that, but but no that. But that's great that, that you did it, you know, and sometimes one time it's just it has to charm. You know, like you do the second time, I'm pretty sure it's not going to be as great. No, that's why, that's why I say, unless you got a new grand idea, just start innovate or whatever. But I think I think one time for most people I mean, if I ever do it, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be one and the only time. And yeah, it has a certain yeah, to me it has like the most authentic charm to it.

Speaker 1: 29:30

See, that's another thing I wanted to throw in, that's authenticity to this author. She's happy and all that, but she went through hell. Okay, hell. You know she wasn't always happy. I'm sure she wanted to. Probably even I'm going to sound crazy, you're saying is even just attack the husband. Because why you made me do this? You know emotions and makes emotions make you crazy. Ok, they do.

Speaker 2: 29:50

And I'm I'm a very emotional person. So you know, if you read the blog or even the book, you find out I cried a lot. You know we'd be standing on the side of the road and I would be crying until I got myself together and then it'd be like, ok, let's get back on the bike. That's what we have to do, and you know I am an emotional person and so, yeah, I experience a wide range of emotions while on that trip.

Speaker 1: 30:10

I think I'd give him credit that he allowed you to process those emotions. He gave you the green light. So you know, go by the bootstraps and carry your own weight and all of that. So I'm sure that's going to end up very well. No, he Maybe a divorce in the middle of the ride and all that. Look, it would have been a completely different story, but he gave you permission.

Speaker 2: 30:34

He did. He knew that for me to make good decisions I needed to get the emotion out, and so he would kind of stand back. Now, the first time I cried he did look a little nervous, like he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with it, and I'm sure he thought, great, this trip's already over and we've only been out here two days. But he soon recognized that's just the way I process. I have to do the emotion of it and then once I get that, you know the world is over, and wailing and gnashing of teeth right Once that's over, then I can kind of say, ok, let's be logical.

Speaker 2: 31:06

What do we need to do next? And usually it's get back on the bicycle, because the next place to stop is 12 miles from here, and who wants to stop here on the side of the road? We need to keep moving, and so that's kind of what I learned. That's actually a lesson that's not in the book. That I learned and that was solely about me, which was it's okay for me to be as emotional as I am. It's just the way I am and it's how I process.

Speaker 1: 31:29

No, yeah, you know, I think this is I speak for. I will say some men we like to solve problems, so I'm sure you saw that as a problem, right. Then he reframed, said okay, let it go, let it let the emotions go through, the problem will self-correct, if you know, for lack of a better word, it will self-correct. And, um, you know, I'm I'm happy they caught on to that, because I think that's what's the problem. Some guys, we like to just solve problems. You see as a problem, how do I fix it, how do I get actively involved? Right, and all that. So it's a good thing that he got adept and just say, okay, there was just a little moment.

Speaker 2: 32:03

Yeah, give her a little moment and she'll get it figured out.

Speaker 1: 32:06

Yeah, yeah, and that means he trusts. He trusts you too. That's real. You can even throw faith in there. You know, and that's that's also a very important thing, that that I I noticed um for me. I mean, I will normally I will normally not add, but my what's my most favorite lesson when I it's me really really well, because it's something that I really needed to um.

Speaker 1: 32:29

Rule number two this yeah yep, yeah, that's the one that it changed the way how I do work, I approach life. That to be out, that's something that I needed, because I used to expect everything to go right the first time.

Speaker 2: 32:44

Yeah, so, and I'm that person as well.

Speaker 1: 32:46

It's not if chaos comes Right. I change skills. When chaos comes Right. What can I do about it?

Speaker 2: 32:51

Right, I'm sorry go ahead when I was going to say I'm the person, I like a list, I like to follow step one, three, step four, step five, and when you do that, you get an outcome every time, and that's the way it should be and that's just not the way it is. First of all, it's not the way life is and it certainly was not the way this road trip went, and it was a hard lesson for me to learn. It was a really difficult lesson for me to learn and over and over and over, I kept expecting the perfect outcome and when I didn't get it, I would be so disappointed and angry and you know like. And then I think I finally figured it out.

Speaker 2: 33:25

It isn't really about a straight line. Our life is never a straight line. It's not from point A to point B. I mean it is, but then there's this huge knot in the middle where we've gone to the right and the left and over and under and you know, through the tree and over the woods, and I mean we're just all of the crazy stuff. And then finally you do come out the other side and you get to point B, but it's not. It's not a nice little, pretty line, just isn't. And life isn't that way. I mean, if you think about anything losing weight right, most people do not lose weight in a continual line. They lose, they gain a little, they lose a little, they gain a lot, they lose a little, and this is just the way it is. In the end, you've gone from where you were to where you wanted to be, but it didn't happen in this nice neat half pound every three day increments and you just went. That's not the way it works and absolutely.

Speaker 1: 34:24

Me you say not me, I call it scribble scribbles. Yes, I mean exactly, it's just a big tangled mess of yuck, yep, that's you know. I mean. They all serve a purpose. It's not a straight line. It messes things up, it causes inconvenience both of them, you know not. Is this more tight and you got to untangle it? Scribble, scribble. Is you got to clean it up? Yeah, straighten it out, you know. And then we see what's what. They both cause great inconvenience. So those are two very viable descriptions.

Speaker 1: 34:46

Don't say another straight line. I will like to ban you. You're not paying attention or you're just messing with me, or it could be a fake straight line. Whatever, just use something that's viable listeners. So this will make it a little more interesting for your listeners and viewers.

Speaker 1: 35:07

Um, what was your most favorite lesson? Make sure you read the book, because I will catch you if you don't, okay, and when you read this book, the question I have is which, which lesson was your most favorite? Which one hit home the hardest for you? And just like curb, you know, I'll allow some rules to bend. If you got a second one, maybe a third one, say it. I want conversation to keep going. I just ask.

Speaker 1: 35:26

In a way, that is a suggestion, not a rule. Okay, it's, it's a suggestion. I didn't expect to get two answers, but I welcome them anyways. Right, right, cause you know, cause I'm sure I'm going to get something of value. So just say OK, just don't know. No, I say one.

Speaker 1: 35:44

I could have been strict. Say no, no, no, just stick to one. One. Thank you, no, no, no, ok, thank you, no, I don't do that. That's, that's nonsense. And the guests can't do it and they're not ready to be on a podcast. Come back later or just don't come back at all. You want to have that fixed nonsense mindset, don't come back here. But if you want to get better, then come back when you're ready. That's what I've told some guests.

Speaker 1: 36:15

Because some certain potential guests thought I was a bit pushy, I said, nope, there was a rule that once you message me, you have to be ready by a certain time. If not, then we can postpone it or you just don't come back. Life keeps moving. I would like to meet some of you, but if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, I'm not going to. You know, some things are just not meant to be. You just got to accept that and it's okay, it's all right. Yep, you know that's. You know that's it. You know, just like. Just like. You know she gave a good example about quitting. Yeah, quit a bad relationship. It's a very good idea. Yeah, like a job. Yeah, you gotta be strategic about that we can't.

Speaker 2: 36:53

We have to be strategic, but sometimes it's okay just to say this is no longer serving me and to be able to say that I think that that's something that that a lot of times, we're told don't quit, don't quit, don't be a quitter, and it's like I don't know. Sometimes quitting is exactly what you should be doing, which is why I added on that don't quit on a bad day. Don't quit when you're emotional. Essentially, that's what it's about it's don't quit when you're in the middle of falling apart, because when you're falling apart.

Speaker 1: 37:21

No, quit smoking is a good idea. Yeah. If you don't like that, I'm sorry, go right ahead.

Speaker 2: 37:24

Yeah. So you just kind of have to think about you know, like, how can you make sure that what you're doing makes sense for you? And you usually can't do that if you're in the middle of an emotional crisis. You need to step back. Even, like you know, my husband passed away four months ago.

Speaker 2: 37:40

People have been asking me are you going to continue staying in the home that you're in? Well, he and I talked about this and I promised him that I would live here for at least one year, because he knew how difficult it would be for me to make a good decision in the middle of me trying to now figure out what life looks like without him. And so that's kind of a variation on never quit on a bad day. It's that idea of you don't want to try to make these big decisions when you're an emotional mess, you know. But once you've figured that out and you know where you are now, you can make a good decision Stay or go, you know, start or stop, you can do those things, but in the middle of crazy, that's not the time to be doing that.

Speaker 1: 38:21

Oh no, Once you see emotion making decisions, you're going to regret them. Right, it may feel good, for probably and I'm just going to give you some charity five seconds maybe, a day Maybe a day that regret is going to come.

Speaker 1: 38:33

Why don't you let that guard down? Regret comes lightning speed at you. Okay, absolutely. That's all I'm gonna say. Listeners and viewers, I really hope you're paying attention to terry here. You could ignore my, my craziness, that's fine. Pay attention. She has such value, okay, such values. Make sure you pay attention. There is wisdom here. It may sound simple, it may even sound cheesy to some of you, but there's wisdom. Stop being a stuck up, stop being stiff neck. Just this is a lesson here. Okay, no, I mean it all serious, it's just learning lessons here. I mean, come on going on a tandem bike ride across America. It's just no easy feat If I don't go look at her appearance. She don't like the type to do it.

Speaker 2: 39:17

In fact, people say to me all the time you did what. No, in fact, people say to me all the time you did what? And I think, yeah, I'm not an athlete, you know, I tell people I'm a desk jockey. I sit in front of my computer and I write this is what I do, and you know when. And I love being outdoors. But I like being outdoors, like walking along the beach and picking up shells. I mean, I'm not talking hardcore athlete. So this was a huge endeavor for me. It was a big, big deal, but it sure taught me a lot about the world and myself.

Speaker 1: 39:44

No, absolutely. That was an epic journey that molded you forever. No one could take that away from you. Absolutely, even the greatest haters, even your most nasty comments can't do that. She is ready for you. She took on millions and billions of mosquitoes and hills and hot weather. Your meme comment got nothing on her. Okay, nothing. Look at that. The light is shining stronger in the room.

Speaker 2: 40:12

Symbolism of oh, there's no. The sun's starting to go down. It's like, oh my goodness, they're getting.

Speaker 1: 40:19

No, ironically, it looks even brighter. Yeah, the sun is going down and well, it's already almost done in my area. But look, listen, your mean comments is not going to do anything and all I'm going to do is ignore you. If it's just. You know, you're stupid, you're fat, your mama ugly. I just can't ignore you. But if we got something constructive to say, no-transcript them are your favorite.

Speaker 2: 41:12

Yeah, you know that's that is a hard question, and so I was looking over that, cause you said you know to that you were going to ask that question, and I think that maybe the one that I like the least is the one that I find the most difficult to do, which is focus on now. So that's rule number five, that's focus on now. I am a I am really big into worrying about something I did yesterday and worrying about something that's going to happen tomorrow. That may or may not ever happen, but nonetheless I'm worried about it, and so I play over conversations in my head of things that I said or shouldn't have said, or I wish I'd said differently, and I'm doing all of that in my mind. And then I'm also worried about what's going to happen tomorrow, when really we need to be living more in the moment, in the now.

Speaker 2: 42:02

So I would say that it's my least favorite because it is the hardest one for me to remember. Like I probably need to post this on the mirror in my bathroom that says you know, focus on now. And it needs to be everywhere. I need to have it in my, you know, up on my computer monitor and I need to have it in my bathroom and I need to have it on the toaster and I need to have it absolutely everywhere, because I would say I get stuck at this point of these 10 rules. I've got it, I learned it, and yet I can forget this rule faster and I find myself right back in that same spot over and over, and I have to constantly remind myself. Terry, today is the day that we're on. You can't do a thing about what you said yesterday and you have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring.

Speaker 1: 42:47

So you know what's funny. That's the same. That's what was that.

Speaker 2: 42:51

The one that you comment.

Speaker 1: 42:53

I'm thinking about the past, the future, even as a strategist. Oh, this is OK. I wish I said why did I do that? That was so stupid. I do the best. I think about the future. How to perfect that Right. It's so hard. It's personally hard for me to be in the now, for unless I'm doing a podcast, right, podcast forces me Right, and it does, though.

Speaker 2: 43:14

It forces you in the moment because you're you're speaking one on one with someone and you don't have anything to do but to continue that conversation. But, most of the time, my mind is in the past and the future, instead of being here in the now.

Speaker 1: 43:31

My mind is always ping-ponging past, future, past, future, past future, not present. It's very rare for it to stop, unless I have to use so much strength for making third, and even then, if I slip for one second, it's back to ping pong Past, future, past, future, past, future, past future. Yeah, I mean, we both are a mental mess, yeah.

Speaker 2: 43:55

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1: 43:57

So that's all we want. But some people are very good at being the present. I can't stand. I have legitimate jealousy. That's why I have a very good friend that I say you know, no one's great about you, you're very present. I need that. I mean, I'm a strategist. I think about improving the past and perfecting the future, which is all very abstract, and it gets us distracted and worried and stressed. I mean, we know it. I'm not going to lecture you on this. We all know this at some level, right?

Speaker 2: 44:25

Right.

Speaker 1: 44:26

I perfectly agree. Five was the one I said really, terry, can you just remove that lesson or do a second edition of that lesson?

Speaker 2: 44:35

No, but no, it is very important, it's very important, it is so important and it is so really it should be my favorite, like it should be the one that I focus all my attention on, because you know I need it so badly. But I think that when I see the focus on now, I immediately know that that's not what I do well and so I don't like it. I don't like to be told I don't do something well and I don't do that one well, oh well yeah I say, well, what the heck you expect me to do?

Speaker 1: 45:03

I'm trying to prevent things from happening here. All right, leave me alone, I'll be very. I'm sometimes very. People tell me that I know it's true. It's actually true. It's hard for me to deny, but I'm going to try to deny it anyways. I'm going to try to be come back and witty about it. I said, well, you just go by life blindly.

Speaker 2: 45:21

Yeah, yeah and it's like no, but yeah.

Speaker 1: 45:24

It's so, it's so true Even when you meditate, you have to be present, and that's why meditation really does help me.

Speaker 2: 45:31

I have I have a hard time meditating. I have a hard time with the whole idea of like mindfulness. I am so bad at those things which is really funny then that I would even put this rule in here, like I could have just left it out, so I didn't have to remind myself how bad I am at something, but it's definitely something I think all people should learn and can get a lot of value from if they will do that.

Speaker 1: 45:56

Right, I mean, look, we gave like probably light, light, spoilers, maybe quotes, if you will. Very light, but yeah, just very light, but I'm not listening to 10. You read a book for that one. I'm not doing that part.

Speaker 2: 46:10

I'm not that generous.

Speaker 1: 46:12

You get that book Okay. It's a great book. It's not just a passive read. It's very short too. It's not something that one chapter is 100 pages long.

Speaker 2: 46:25

No, it's a quick read and I tell people it's one of those reads. You can put it on your bedside table and you can read one chapter and then think about it for a day or two or a week or whatever. You don't have to sit down and read it all the way through. I've had a lot of people who have. They've read it all the way through and then they go back and read one chapter and work on it because they realize, oh wait, this one is the one I need. So you read through and you said to yourself it was what chapter to expect setbacks, and so that might be one. Then that you would say, well, I need to read that again, I need to really look over those questions. I I need to read that again. I need to really look over those questions. I need to really think about how to apply this in my life. And so you know, there's a lot of different ways that you can go about reading the book.

Speaker 1: 47:05

No, absolutely, and you know that's what makes this book so different for so many others. You got to read one, two, three, four it's on the stand seven. No, you can decompartmentalize thing and then just do a deep dive into the ones that apply to you. I mean, there's just so much ways to do it. It's so customizable, so personable and who knows, and I'm going to challenge you, listeners and viewers, come up with the 11th lesson.

Speaker 2: 47:30

Yeah, I ask people that sometimes I'll go and I'll give a talk about this book and I'll say, like you know what's an 11th lesson? And I actually have an 11th lesson, which, for me, I kind of learned it really as I've talked about it more and more which is you have inside of you everything you need to be successful, like we need to stop looking to become something more, something bigger, something. What you need is already in you. Look inside and find it. Now, the world has been really good at covering it up and hiding things from us. I lived in that abusive relationship and there was a lot of good stuff of me that was hidden underneath a lot of junk, but it was still there. This ride did not make me become someone else. It helped me discover who I was, and so I think that would be the I don't know quite how to put it down into a quick rule, but essentially, you've got what you need inside of you.

Speaker 1: 48:26

Maybe I got one Accept it, reject it. Maybe success is within.

Speaker 2: 48:31

Oh, I like that. That would be. Yeah, that would kind of hold it all together. But that idea that we don't have to become someone else, we don't have to be. I don't have to be like Elias, elias doesn't have to be like Terry. We can be whatever it is we need to be and we have that in us. You know, for me to be successful, for me to have become an author and for me to have become a podcaster and to I now mentor other authors and these things that I'm doing, I had all of that in me. I just had forgotten it was there. I wasn't accessing it anymore. I was looking outside of myself, hoping that somewhere else I would find what I needed and all along it was in me. So I like that. Success is within. That's a good, good role.

Speaker 1: 49:16

You know, I mean, you could even wordsmith it, whatever, right.

Speaker 2: 49:20

But I like the way that that kind of flows and it's simple and it's succinct and I like that. Thank you, elias, that's good.

Speaker 1: 49:26

Hey, I'm here to help. I've given some decent ideas to people, especially if it comes naturally. If I don't have it, I really don't have it. I can just force you to say, or maybe you know, or I think you know, or success is unique, you know, or something like that. Because you're just saying that you don't have to be like me, I don't have to be like you, and this is a few words. You just be yourself. Dig through your own internal rubble that the world has, let's be honest, dumped a lot of that in you. Yeah, and you know you love these people. They're great people, but they have unintentionally put something in your dump.

Speaker 2: 50:01

You'd be a family, your friends, your teachers, yeah, and I tell people when you're you know, if you can't access that within you, then you need help finding it again, and so maybe that help comes from a spouse or a friend or a coworker. Maybe it comes from a therapist, maybe it comes from a pastor or preacher or some other religiouser. Maybe it comes from a therapist, maybe it comes from a pastor or a preacher or some other religious leader. Maybe it comes from reading a book. Maybe it comes from taking a giant adventure and going across the United States. But whatever it is, start searching for it, because you have it in you already.

Speaker 1: 50:34

I don't know. Paint or something like that, or jog, whatever it is right, whatever it is, it is within, and I love that. I mean, look, if you could find a 12, you said 14,. 12th lesson, 13th lesson, 14th lesson the bonuses. If you could somehow mesh it into the book, that would be the bonus, not mandatory, but if you could somehow do, do that, you get even more kudos and I'm sure I'm gonna come up with a prize for that.

Speaker 1: 51:08

But I will have to have her be here because it's her book, she's the boss of it, she's gonna be the judge, jury and executioner. Hey, I'm just, I'm just merely a presenter, I'm a terror mc, maybe that role at that capacity. But I am not going to decide the winner because this is it was my own book of how I give you like tough requirements as I want the best of the best, or you could be gone like the rest there you go a little rhyme right there, but I'm not a rapper, don't say that. I'm not a rapper, all right, but um, yeah, yeah, this is a great conversation. I I was initially rating this like an 8. I think it rated like a 9.5 or 10 for me already. Fantastic.

Speaker 2: 51:46

This has been great.

Speaker 1: 51:48

So let's do that, Actually, before I even do that, because I always have to get it. We are going to get to that. Anything else you want to add before we get to the shameless plug-in.

Speaker 2: 51:56

No, I don't think so. I think the only other thing that I like to tell people is is don't have a bucket list. If there's something in your life that you want to do, start today moving toward that. When my husband and I decided to go on this trip, it's not like we made the decision to go on the trip and left the next day.

Speaker 2: 52:13

There was a lot of work that had to go into going, but we, as soon as we made the decision we wanted to do it, we started working toward it, and I really think that that's where you want to be in life. You always want to be working toward that goal. So, you know, look at that bucket list and say what on here do I really, really, really want, and then start working toward it. Whatever that is, take that first step, and that should be something that you could do today, like, do it now, don't wait, because, honestly, you don't know what tomorrow's going to bring and you would rather leave this world having been moving toward a goal than just having a goal sitting on some list.

Speaker 1: 52:51

Oh, that's probably the most controversial thing for so many people, especially those who love the bucket list, pro bucket list people. No.

Speaker 2: 52:56

I'm-.

Speaker 1: 52:57

Why me.

Speaker 2: 52:58

You want me to just kick the bucket list. Well, it's so. I mean, I think it's okay to have a list of things that maybe someday would be cool, but, like, don't make it the end all list. I would rather. I would much rather you say this is the thing that I'm working on, you know and, and it's okay.

Speaker 2: 53:14

Like, like I still I have things I'd like to do. I would love to go to some Greek islands and see those and I would love to. I want to go to DC and see the cherries and blossom, and there are things that I have that I would like to do, but there isn't anything that is like deep in my chest and if it is, I'm working on it. You know, and, and that's, I think, where we, where we want to be in the world, we want to be always working towards those things that make us feel alive. And if there's just sitting on a list somewhere and you're not working toward it, you either you need to figure out why you're not working toward it. You're either afraid, and you need to work on that, or it's really not that important to you and you need to go ahead and take it off your list.

Speaker 1: 53:54

Some tough truths for some of you, yeah.

Speaker 2: 53:58

You said I was, you said I was so nice. But I kind of have a little tough love in me yeah, look at that, terry exposed.

Speaker 1: 54:06

Tough love. Hey, I love it. It just adds more to the I don't want to say complex layers of authenticity, because you can't be nice all the time, you can't be mean on time. You want that's more like a cartoon character that they super exaggerate, super simplified versions of a human being one is too mean one is too nice, one is too smart, one is too boring.

Speaker 1: 54:27

You know, we humans, we are a bunch of things. Okay, you know me, I got my nice side too. I got my nice side. I'm kind of sympathizing with the with the bucket list people actually not really, um, I, I don't. I, I have to be honest, I don't even have a bucket list, so, yay see you, you win, you win in my book, right there.

Speaker 1: 54:46

I really don't need it because I agree. It's like if you're gonna do it, do it, come with a plan, just done. I, I, I, in the serious, I actually agree with that. For those who heal up buckets your feelings are hurt too bad. Kick that bucket, bake it to action plan. Turn to action plan. Kick that bucket. Absolutely Not in debt, not in debt. Okay, I know some of you are going to just twist it to figurative speech and think I'm being evil. Nope, just kick the bucket literally or in your head At least in your head.

Speaker 1: 55:15

If you want to be super safe about it in your head and if you're angry, go in the middle of the field somewhere, kick the bucket. You need to let out that anger. Go right ahead. Good therapy right there. Absolutely, you know what. All right, this has been great. I don't know the bucket list. People are agitated. That's okay, you'll live. You'll live.

Speaker 1: 55:35

Process those emotions. She's probably telling the truth somewhere. Okay, process those emotions. You go through it. You'll get better, you'll be fine, you'll be fine, you know.

Speaker 1: 55:44

You know we all got to process emotions, and I will, I will add, especially for men. This is why some of us turn to psychopaths. Process those emotions, even privately. If you have to Just have a time, just leave room to process emotions. Men are not robots. I say like robots. I say like. I would say, women are more likely to do that. Even for the rare women who hold it, that applies to you as well. Okay, the process those emotions. Especially the, the tomboy, hyper masking woman processes emotions as well. The feminine man. You process those emotions. Good job, you're ahead of the curve there. Okay, so that? That that's the reason.

Speaker 1: 56:16

I'm emphasizing that, because I think this is why we have so much mental health issues, yeah, and all that because we just like to keep going live, keep masking, keep shoving things down, making you know we over fill our inner junk capacity to a point it blows up. So, yeah, you know this, this is a life and I went through that. I went through that when I broke down. I just hold a bunch of stuff in. So it's not, it's not not pretty. You think you're being tough, but what you're doing you're just becoming such a big emotional mess, even worse than ones who just process it. Those are little mess, those are manageable, easy to clean, but if you keep postponing it, mess will be so big it's going to take a long time. Yep, let's rectify that.

Speaker 1: 56:58

Okay, look, I'm not a psychologist and all of that, but I just know this through experience, and wise people like Terry will agree with me. If you disagree with me, I'm going to put this as nicely as possible. This is my nice side. You're just fooling yourself. You're really hurting yourself. It's not me, not Terry. We try to give you wisdom here, but you have to be willing, have the awareness and the receptiveness to take it. That's all I'm going to say.

Speaker 1: 57:22

With that, let's get to the commercial, the very capitalistic part that some of you love and some of you complain about. But who cares? It's not charity work here, okay, just not charity work. I love it, but it's not charity work. Can't be a charity, yeah, but nah, I don't want to. Not this one, not this episode. That'll be a future episode when I throw prizes or things like that, but not this one, not this one. Okay, they, you know they need your support too. So let's go check on shameless buggin. She has a website and she's an author. This is not her first book, okay. She mentioned one about the granddaughter, who was I won't be surprised pretty sassy and demanding about why I'm gonna get a book for me you know, I'm just making things up.

Speaker 1: 58:02

I'm just assuming, as I go along here just for entertainment.

Speaker 2: 58:05

But who knows, or maybe she was so nice she actually is a very sweet hearing little girl, but she was kind of like I don't. I don't understand, if you're an author, why aren't there books for me? And it was like you know what you have a very good point there's and and I'm a good gg I I like doing with my grandchildren, so you know, if they want a book, I'm going to get them a book oh, there you go there, you go right there.

Speaker 1: 58:31

That's a little okay. Well, all right, she was just. She was just, I would say, diplomatic, I guess yeah I probably would be more bossy. So why is that book for me? What's wrong with you? But look, there is, yeah, there's uh, more than several books that she wrote. There's fight cds daughter of the Green Mountain Was it Gap? Yep, daughter of the Green Mountain Gap. And then there is, oh, an Enemy Like Me. Well, that one seems provocative. Sunflowers Beneath the Snow that's probably the nicest one you got in there.

Speaker 2: 59:02

That's actually one about Ukraine, and what's crazy is that book was written about three generations of Ukrainian women, starting in the 1970s, and it came out one month before the current Ukrainian crisis started.

Speaker 1: 59:14

Wow, now that's historical.

Speaker 2: 59:17

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 59:17

I'll be honest, that's an entirely separate podcast altogether.

Speaker 2: 59:23

Altogether.

Speaker 1: 59:24

Absolutely that's. You know, that is, I'm pretty sure that I think that's what you mean by historical fiction. Right there, I'm sure you connect, you know true events and all that and add, you know, creativity to it.

Speaker 2: 59:36

Right I tell people all the time. For me, historical fiction is is you make sure that you do the history, that you have your facts as straight as you can get them, given that you weren't there. And then the fiction part is I get to let my characters, my fictional characters, do things within that setting. I get to let my characters, my fictional characters, do things within that setting. So I try really hard to make my facts as factual as possible. I'm not saying I've never made a mistake, but I do a lot of research and I try really hard to be as factual as possible.

Speaker 1: 1:00:05

Yeah, that's a challenge. Right Balancing reality and fiction is a great cohesive story. That is a challenge. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to to do that. I'm probably too much of a realist as I want. I want something makes sense. But I like fantasy too, you know, because it's a nice just escape, you know.

Speaker 1: 1:00:21

Yeah what if it was things done right? This is a more like a I'll probably say like a healthy kind of what if? What if things were done right, as opposed to this messy right? You know, I think it's like a therapy, right there. You know, agree or disagree, it don't matter. That's just my opinion of that. You know, you wish things were done differently. I mean, we all have that. I wish that war never happened, period okay, and I I think that war personally could have been prevented oh yeah, there's a, there's a lot of there's.

Speaker 2: 1:00:49

You know there's a lot of things to talk about with that. But what I also tell people is that I am not a government official, I'm not a political scientist, I'm an author. And this was a book that came to me before this war was Right, and I had this idea, and so I'm only an expert on my characters and the time period in which they lived. And people ask me a lot of questions about the war and what do I think? And it's like what I think really has very little to do with A the book and B with reality, because what I think doesn't matter, I mean it really doesn't. I have zero control over any of it, right. So, and I have another book, so my Daughter's a Green Mountain Gap.

Speaker 2: 1:01:39

It's about healers in the mountains of North Carolina in the 80s, and I've had people say to me things like oh, I should try some of those remedies, and it's like, oh, no, you should not. I am not a doctor and I do not play one on TV Like this is fiction, you know. And so you have to kind of remind people sometimes that there's that line of fiction. And if my book made you think that, wow, it'd be kind of cool to start looking up some of these more herbal ways of, that's great, but don't look them up in my book, because it's fiction, right, and if it leads you to want to learn and explore about something, that's. The fabulous thing about fiction is that it can get you to think about things and do things and experience things that you might not have otherwise done. But then go to real good sources to do more, right, because I'm an author, I'm a fiction author and check with the experts, darn it. You know, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 1:02:35

Come on, come on, people, people, you could do better than this. You've got to separate reality and fiction, right? If it inspires you, you don't find, just like she said, but do your research, talk to medical experts, exactly. Exactly Holistic experts and don't look at that when you go to Perry, it's maybe how to write a book, right Things like that.

Speaker 2: 1:02:58

Right, but not for health. Well, and like I said that Not for you know, not for no, no, go ahead. That book was written in a setting in the 80s. Well, in the 80s they were still doing bloodletting for diabetes. Like, let's not, we don't want to use remedies that were in that book, because things have changed and we've learned things, we understand things. So, by all means, if it encouraged you to look into more holistic medicine, that's fabulous, but do that in a wise manner.

Speaker 1: 1:03:26

Yeah, yeah, make sure you have experts and second, third and fourth opinion, whatever opinions you need, absolutely, you know. Come on people, you got to do better. I know you're desperate, but don't let desperation blind you, because desperation does lead to stupidity.

Speaker 2: 1:03:41

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 1:03:42

You don't want to be foolish, you don't want to be foolish, you really don't. And look, listen, go to her for art, writing, those kind of things. That's her strong suit. Like me, you want to go to political analysis? You come to me for that, don't come. And even some AI. I will say I'm a semi-expert, if that makes sense, but I'm not the super credible expert. I can even like stuff like what happens, because I did a lot of research on AI so I can confidently talk about what's the good, the bad, the ugly of AI and even spirituality. I can talk to you about that. You know I'm not a spiritual guru, but I'm comfortable with that. But I always say a disclaimer an expert, she's doing that right now, which is very responsible, very ethical. Okay, go to her for writing and art and things like that, not for health.

Speaker 1: 1:04:29

Not for history, not for historical analysis or political debate. I'm pretty sure she don't have time for that. Okay, I do, sadly.

Speaker 2: 1:04:40

So yeah, if you want to debate that, talk to Elias. If you want to read about it, then buy my book, right?

Speaker 1: 1:04:47

That's clearly defined. That's the rules right there. If you do outside of that, they'll be surprised. You get shut down. I know nasty ways, I'm not. We're just gonna defer you. So again, it comes to the reading in the book just stories, so that you go to our debate, debate ukraine, you could debate with me about that. Okay, absolutely, I've studied that and I got my opinions. That's gonna some will love and some will hate, because I'm really criticizing both of the major players. What I mean by major players really us and russia. I said this is where russia went wrong, this is where us went wrong. And look you, you're not going to be liked, and that's okay. I don't expect that.

Speaker 1: 1:05:25

All right, we went a little slightly off the tangent, but it's okay, okay, because look this these are the products are here and they all relate, that's relevance to it. Right, and check her out. She's a nice lady, don't be shy.

Speaker 2: 1:05:42

Seriously, head over to my website. It's my name Terry M Brown Terry with one R, and you can. You can sign up for a newsletter, you can buy books. You can see my my podcast. You can sign up for my newsletter, you can buy books, you can see my podcast. I even just have a contact page where, if you want to reach out and say hey, I read something, what do you think? I love to talk to people, so feel free to reach out to me, I'd love to chat.

Speaker 1: 1:06:02

Yep, and she got her podcast as well.

Speaker 2: 1:06:05

Bookworms Check it out, absolutely. Bookworms, wannabe writers. If you want to be writers, check it out.

Speaker 1: 1:06:10

Terry fans, check it out, check it out. Yeah, you know she got plenty of social media. You know, look, not all boomers are anti-internet and she has a lot of social media.

Speaker 2: 1:06:22

I do. I tried TikTok. It is not my thing. So if anyone out there is like really good at it and they think they can teach me something that I would be willing to do with it, definitely reach out to me.

Speaker 1: 1:06:37

I am definitely all about continuing to learn. Look at that If you're a TikTok social media specialist, reach out. Contact Terry All that is going to be in the description of the episodes More than one way to contact her. You're going to be overwhelmed. How to contact her, not the what there's a lot of what? What's your preference? Okay, that's a problem. I want to hear not.

Speaker 2: 1:06:56

Oh no, that has to be just with social medias and and seriously, if you reach out to me, I will respond. I do my very best to respond to everyone that reaches out yeah, so check her out.

Speaker 1: 1:07:06

All right, she debunked whatever doubts you have. Okay, she's a wonderful person, she's you know, she's right, you know she, she is, she's actually, you know. Okay, she's a wonderful person, she's you know she's right, you know she, she is, she's actually, you know, I. I think she's personified son. I mean, there was even a moment where it was. The sun was shining in her room right now. So symbolism, right there, people, that's a literary term, okay, I'm talking about here. It's not irony, it would be like a dark cloud overhead.

Speaker 1: 1:07:35

That's it Right right, okay, but no, it was, I would say, coherent symbolism. I mean that symbolism they connect, you have to connect art to whatever is relevant to it. You don't think of sun as evil unless you go closer and get burned. Well, that's you. You're silly and stupid. To be honest, I'm not going to do that. I don't recommend you do that either. I don't care if you're NASA certified or a super expert. Don't do that, okay, all right, yeah, so just check her stuff out, you know, and she has a podcast as well. Me. I'll probably qualify once I start writing something.

Speaker 1: 1:08:09

I don't know what I'm going to write about. I just got to find something I think that holds dear to me. I was going to write a political book but the very first guess debunk that guy. I think he has a very good political book for strategies, what you should do, what you should not do and what's going to happen if you're a squeaky clean person. It had so much good stuff.

Speaker 1: 1:08:28

I'm just giving a shout out to Jeff Ward, very smart political mind, sadly. And I'm just giving a shout out to Jeff Ward, very smart political mind, and sadly I'm surprised he's not even nationally known. He should be, because it's brilliant stuff. But you know he's proud of his local roots. Maybe that's what held him back. Who knows, attack me Jeff Ward fans. I think it's just his local roots hold him back. But very brilliant political mind, very brilliant, All right. Enough getting a random shout out to a guest.

Speaker 1: 1:08:58

Now let's do my little shameless plugging Give a like, share, subscribe, share this with family and friends or some random bookworm you can't stand, I don't care, just share it, okay, just share it, just share it, just click away, or have your friend share it. I likes that person. Spread the word, just really spread the word, you know. And followers. Well, give her some support. You know, give this podcast support, if you want. If you want, just like and share is what I like in a review, more than a donation, you know. You know you can subscribe for three dollars a month or more. I'm also coming with exclusive content contests. We're probably revealing juicy stuff and it will be definitely in depth with certain guests I mean top tier guests. Not everyone's gonna be there, you know, especially the early days, a lot of those not coming back. Okay, sometimes you can be a wonderful person, but you know that's not why I'm looking for you could be great for another podcast. So my rejection is not to be all and all, it's just no, this door is closed, but the other one opens.

Speaker 1: 1:10:02

Give a review. I only pay attention to apple podcasts. Give a star review. I want an honest review. I don't want a bunch of five stars with no comment. You know just either. If you think I need to improve on something, tell me, I will pay attention to those. I'll pay attention to a four star that tells me how to improve, rather than a five star say you're great. All right, that's nice. And now I got the honor of getting that shadow one star that the person won't say anything, so great. My numbers went down, but it's okay. It's okay, it's okay. That just means that I'm getting a little more popular, because all great podcasts had that one star regular who just put one star and don't even say anything. So I got that honor. Thank you, cheap reviewer. Thank you, you just boost my authenticity. I'm not that artificial 4.9 five-star podcast anymore. Okay, that's more authenticity. So thank you for that, really. So, when you complete this visual or audio journey, you have a blessed day, afternoon or night Bye.